||its not your fault||Lestappen||

(Chapter 20)

once getting back to the hotel Charles didnt bother changing just went straight to his bed, he opened the drawer to the bedside table which shook as he tugged so hard. he grabs his small wooden box which held his darkest addiction of self harm. he opened the box rolling up his sleeves and using the small dagger that he stores in there to make deep slices on his skin, he knows he promised Seb he wouldnt do it again but that was long ago. he couldnt help it! he didnt want to get better. he wanted to get worse and worse till he knew nobody could help it him out of it.

he bandages up his self harm and rolls his sleeve back down hiding his blade back in its place and putting it in his drawer. he flops on his bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

Carlos arrived back at the hotel after dinner with Lando he went to see if Charles was there and opened his bedroom door seeing the Monegasque on the bed drained, asleep he smiled and closed the door. he went to his room and rung Max, he awnser's, "did you drop Charles off?" the Spaniard asked his past teammate. "uhm no? is he back?" the Dutchman was confused he thought Charles was going with him. "oh he is back he must have walked or something he's flat out in his room." Carlos heard Max sigh. "im coming over." the world champion said as Carlos could hear rustling in the background. "okay doors unlocked just walk in mate, drive safe!" Carlos hung up as he heard engine starting from Max and put his phone down to start cooking pasta.

Max drove way over the speed limit. Seb had told him after Carlos hung him as he drove and watched the video of it all happen. once he arrived he got out of his car and straight to his hotel room which he shared with the Ferrari teammate of his and opened the door with a harsh push. Carlos looked over and let out a sigh of relief. "i thought you were paparazzi! fuckin' hell dont do that again, please lock the door Max." Carlos turned back around and continued to stir the Pasta. Max locks the door with no reply. "save us some pasta and make sure Charles has a smaller portion please?" Carlos nods at Max's request and watched the Dutchman go up the stairs.

he gently knocks on Charles's door, opening it seeing that he was breathing quicker then someone thats asleep normally. 'he must be having a nightmare' Max thinks, taking his shoes off and pulling Charles to his lap. "its okay Charlie your safe." he whispered into his ear. Charles calmed down, waking up with a small jolt. "Max.?" he croaked looking over at his former rival. "im here. pasta is cooking, okay you have to eat." Max said with a stern tone. Charles nods even though he had no appetite he got up, trailing Max to his Spanish teammate in the kitchen, they both took seats on the stools in front of the counter and got given there food. "thank you Carlos." Charles mumbled pushing his food around on the plate. "thanks mate." Max said ready to engulf the food Carlos had given knowing it would taste amazing.

Charles had been convinced to eat half of his plate of Pasta, Carlos sparing him glances of guilt and worry. 'why is he guilty?' Charles thinks in his head spacing out. "do i have to do 2nd practice!" Max groaned. "wait i forgot about that." causing Carlos and Max to look at him with shock. "i dont know okay." Charles put his hands up before they started to ask questions. they just laughed it off before preparing to head back to the track.

arriving in Carlos's red Ferrari they all get out and go to their motorhomes. Charles know soon he was going to be weighed, he couldnt let the F.I.A kick him from Formula 1! he filled water bottles up and started putting small weights in his pockets. he weighed himself. perfect, 151lbs(69kg) 'only one pound off put that'll do right?' he thinks to himself before getting called by Fred to be weighed before the practice session.

(right im pretty sure they dont do this irl only after hot races that are causing them to sweat off the weight, smt like that. and Carlos wont be getting his surgery since he was in last race in this book he'll get it around japan or china! cause i kinda forgot :< this was around 700 words and im aiming to do longer ones but they might take a while to post since im on my xbox and going shopping for Monza.