Newtmas Oneshots

it's not your fault

Hello!!
Just wanted to say that this might be triggering...? I tried to make it a bit more happy than the actual storyline.
The place is taking after tdc (BOOK!). So if you haven't read the books better get going, shanks! ;)

***

Life sucks, that was Thomas' thought every time he woke up.

They were in safe heaven now. Alive and safe, starting a new life after the terrible things they've gone through.

It was all in the past now. All the danger, all the worry if you going to survive another day.

They were safe.

They were starting a new civilization.

On the island there were around 300 people. That's enough to make a new life start right?

Everyone was happy, everything was great.

Except it wasn't.

Thomas felt worse day by day. Yes they made it, but he couldn't stop thinking how they made it.

Pathetic.

They could do better. They could bring more people, save more people.

All those Grievers, Cranks, Beetleblades, lightbulb freaks, all flying metal things and more were haunting him in his dreams.

And he knew he wasn't the only one.

He heard people screaming, waking up almost every night just because of traumas that they have been through.

But no one talked about it. As soon as they were in public they turned in the most lovey dovey sunshine happy person they could be.

And Thomas hated it. He hated when someone smiled at him, as they lived a normal life. He hated how they talked about casual stuff instead of helping and comforting each other because of the nightmares that scared the shit out of them most of the nights.

Everyone acted like they never experienced anything unusual, like they would be born here in a safe heaven.

He knew it was stupid to hate these kinds of things but he couldn't help himself.

He felt like the only person that actually cared about the lost lives, that actually cared about the fact he won't see certain people he loved and cared about so much never again.

Chuck, Teresa, Newt.

Those three names echoed in his head over and over. It was like the lyrics of the song that made him want to cry.

Chuck.

The little boy who was forced by WICKED to die for him. A little brother he never had - or at least never remembered. He'll never forget how the knife had sunk into the boy's chest, how he looked at Thomas, full of hope, fear.

He wanted Thomas to find his mother. To tell her... Well he didn't finished the sentence but Thomas had a lot of time to think about it. Probably that he loved her.

He never found Chuck's mother. Another broken promise that broke his heart.

Teresa.

The girl who sacrificed her life for him when she could easily walk through the flat trans.

The memory of hurt by her betrayal still was there. He wasn't angry at her. Not anymore. He knew if she survived, their relationship would be different. He would never look at her the same way. Others would also have a hard time trusting her.

And Newt.

Gosh what did he do? Why did he do that?

He was always by his side, always. When no one believed him, he did. He was the friendliest in the glade when he came (besides Chuck), and that's how he thanked him?