𝐕𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 |𝟏𝟖+|

Chapter fifty-three

Romeo Lianni's POV

Her words rang out in my head. I'd do it all again if it meant I'd never lose you. Never has a symphony sounded so sweet.

"All of it?" My voice came out a hoarse whisper of sheer desperation.

Pollie tucked her lip into her mouth before whispering, "All of it."

And we both knew that that meant from the first time we met, right up to now.

Her loving eyes flickered to my lips as she subconsciously wet her own.

"I missed you so much you dumb bastard." Her voice was still a breathy whisper as I stroked patterns on her chin that I still gripped.

But for the first time in three weeks, a smile so genuine cut through my lips. "Well this dumb bastard can't even begin to describe how hollow I've felt without you Stell. I mean it when I say I'm sorry Poll, I really do."

Pollie smiled softly in return. "I know you are. You're just the biggest idiot I've ever met."

Another smile. But then hers faltered.

"Poll?"

She slowly retreated from my grip, shaking her head as she did so. "I told myself I wouldn't forgive you so damn easily."

I didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. So I let her get her words out.

"I mean you hurt me Rome. You hurt me so much more than a bullet could ever and I was left thinking that it was me, that I was the problem."

I went to cut in but she stopped me.

"I haven't had one good night where I've slept the whole way through." Neither have I. "And the pain and emptiness I've felt without you next to me, has made me feel so weakly pathetic that I almost lost sight of who I am as an individual."

A thousand cuts is what her words felt like. But I knew she needed to get this all off her chest, to free herself of the weight she's been carrying around in my absence.

"I mean you left me in a hospital bed Romeo! A hospital bed! And when I came home, I found this cold empty shell of what used to he my happy, safe space. But no, you wrecked that too! I waited over a week for you to come home to me, and whilst that doesn't seem like much, a week sleeping alone in a place that you welcomed me into, is a damned depressing experience when you're surrounded by memories and scents of you." I was turned sideways in my seat as she lashed her arm out and hit my knee, her tears streaming down her face from pent up emotion.

My own tears were rolling but I stayed silent. She needed this. We, needed this.

If we're going to move forward, we needed honesty. And whilst hearing the brutal truth of what I've done to my sweet girl turns my insides to lead, I know that I'll never make it right if I don't own up to everything I've put her through.

"I slept in your bed all those nights, only so I could feel close to you. I'd fall asleep and fantasise about you coming home, kissing me so deeply before we'd make love till dawn. I'd pretend that I was fine, because I hated how pathetic I was becoming.........But then you blocked me and that was the final straw."