You'll Learn to Love Me (Leo Valdez x OC)

Chapter 87: Regrets

This chapter is gonna be a little different. This is gonna be from 1st Person POV from both Laylana and Leo's POVs, switching from one person to another. Trying a different style... This is all their internal dialogue, and maybe some flashbacks.  Enjoy the emotions.

Leo's POV

It was really weird being at camp without any of my friends here, even more so now that everyone knew about how rocky Laylana and I were when she died. 

Gods... It was even weirder not having Laylana here. Even on the boat after we broke up she was still there. She still scolded me when I said something stupid, was her usual sarcastic self, the only difference being she was tougher. She didn't smile as much. And I knew that was completely my fault.

I really did miss her with all my heart. I miss her hands and how they would pinch me when I was being dumb, or when they'd play with my hair while we slept together. I miss her voice, how she'd laugh at my jokes, or how she would sing along to the music we played on the deck of the ship. Or when she would hum a slow song when I was falling asleep. I miss her smile, especially the one she would make after every kiss we had, with her slightly pink cheeks, and the dazed look in her eyes. I miss the way she'd say my name, or call me Casanova, or darling... I miss the way she would kiss me like nothing else mattered but us. 

I knew I loved her, but I really accepted it when I was on Ogygia... In my own way, I did tell her, but whether she caught on or not I didn't know. Even now as I sit in Bunker 9, hovered over a table drawing up plans to try and build some sort of new tracking device, my fingers drummed relentlessly, the same message I had been tapping on Laylana's hand any time we were holding hands...  

.. ._.. _ _ _ ..._ . _._ _ _ _ _ .._

In translation... It means "I love you." I had been telling her that I loved her for months, but it seemed she never caught on. Part of me was thankful for that, because who knows what her reaction would have been. She was scared when we first got together, how scared would she be if I admitted that I loved her? 

None of my contraptions were working. I kept pushing and pushing, despite the gentle protests from my siblings to give it up when they visited camp. I continued through... Every time Jason came by, he and I would sit on the roof of the Zeus cabin and just ponder about  what Laylana might be doing right that moment, and where she was. Most of  the time it ranged from her yelling at Hades in the Underworld to let her come back to life, or she was living out her dreams in another part of the country, alive and well. I talked at least once a week with Percy and Annabeth, and Annabeth and I often shared our thoughts of something new I could try. Percy and Nico were the main ones that kept me going through this whole ordeal though. When I slowly began to give up, one of them would snap me back into it. Nico actually admitted that he partially blamed himself for what happened, considering he allowed Octavian to shoot himself into the sky. Surprisingly, he and I were a bit closer now with our shared blame over Laylana's death.

That reminded me that Percy invited me to Christmas at his home... Part of me was reluctant to go, and felt a little awkward going without Laylana. I spent last Christmas with her, her parents, and Annabeth. Now I would be spending it with them and Percy, but without her. I hadn't even talked to Sally or Paul since Laylana and I had gone to say goodbye (she insisted I go with her) and Sally asked me to take care of her... How would she feel? Surely Annabeth and Percy told her about what happened between us, and that was probably not the best look for me. Percy recently told me that his mom was actually pregnant, and he opened up about how she felt a bit guilty, like she was replacing Laylana. All of us knew that wasn't true, Laylana would've wanted her mom to move on like that and be happy. And if she did come back, she would be coming back to a new sibling. She would be thrilled.