The Way Things go

Hidden emotions

I lie in bed, a million thoughts racing through my head. I must be going crazy, in love with her? I couldn't be. We aren't even friends. I try and forget about it as I fall asleep.

The next morning chris wakes us up for the challenge, I barely slept, I get out of bed and go to get ready, in the corner of my eye, I see Mk. Still asleep, and still wearing that dumb hat. I roll my eyes and walk away, basically mad about nothing.
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I walk into the cafeteria, and decide not to eat breakfast. My stomach already hurts enough.. I look around and see Mk, she's looking back at me. I stare at her for an awkward 30 seconds before she finally breaks the eye contact, and we all walk out to the main camp area

"Alright, in today's challenge, you will have to see how long you can stay awake for! It could be minutes, hours, days, even weeks! Hopefully not weeks. Anyways, who has had water from camp today?"

Everyone, including me, raises their hands.

"Well, Surpise! The water had melatonin in it! Now it'll be even HARDER for you to stay awake!"

"Is that legal!?"
Priya yells out, i hate to say it, but she's right. Isn't that basically drugging us? Either way, chris rolls his eyes and sends us off to the camp fire to start the challenge.

It's easy at first, obviously, but as it gets later i start to get exhausted. 3 people have already fallen asleep. I look around for someone to talk to, to keep myself busy. But nobody here wants to talk to me, I look over and see Mk. I can't stop myself from wondering how she's doing, and wanting to go talk to her. My body moves quicker then my brain and next thing i know im standing above her, looking down at her.

"Yeah..?"

"Oh- um.. I just wanted to see how you were doing!"
I sat down next to her

"Well in this challenge, im fine. I do this like seven times a week. But in the overall game? Not so great since you decided to completely ignore me and also try to vote me out knowing that wouldn't get me out at all"

I just stare at her, dumbfounded. What am I supposed to say to that? I mean she's right. I've been a terrible.. "friend" or whatever we are. All of a sudden I just start talking. Like I can't stop myself, as if my brain just broke.

"Look I'm so sorry i've been ignoring you and I really care about you I was just worried if I got to close with anyone I'd lose the game and again I really do care about you and I'm really tired right now-"

"It's fine. Is there anything else you need..?"

"No, I guess."

I walk off, as I sit down as far away from her as possible, My brain finally catches up with what I just did. Why would I talk to her? And WHY would I say that!? I know I won't be able to fall asleep, because my heart was racing.

I lay on the ground, staring above me, starting to get more and more tired. I try to keep myself awake, but without realizing it, I fall asleep.
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I wake up to see Mk won the challenge, I guess she wasn't lying when she said she was used to staying up late. Some people are still asleep, but most of us have woken up. During the other teams voting ceremony, I decide to try and fix things with Mk, I obviously just humiliated myself in front of her so this probably isn't a great idea, but I don't really have another choice.

I look over at her, and she looks away, clearly still mad at me for.. everything. I look around for somebody to talk to, i have nothing to do other than scroll through twitter reading tweets saying im a terrible person or whatever. I look around and see wayne walking towards me.. ugh.

"Hey jules!"

"What"

"Just wondering how you've been, you seem all lonely and emo this season"

"Excuse me? I don't want to talk to anyone here!"

"Having friends is good! I won because I had bowie and my buddy raj"

"Well whatever."

I stormed off before he could say anything else. What does that mean?? I don't want to talk to anyone here! Wayne didn't win because he had friends, he won by dumb luck. I'm going to win this season, I know it.

I find out through others that Priya got eliminated, to be honest she deserved it. She won the first season and made it WAY too far in season 2. Damien is all heart broken about the news. Him and caleb got into this whole argument, something about priya and caleb voted her? I don't know.

After the miserable day, I finally got to go to sleep, I'm not tired though, I just slept in the challenge. I lay in bed, staring up. All I can think about is what I said to Mk today. I barely remember because of how tired I was, but I know whatever I said was haunting, and terrible. I told her I cared about her, twice!

I keep thinking back to last night, when I thought I was in love with her, obviously im not. I don't even know why im thinking about that. It's not true, I was just tired and my mind was racing. If I get some sleep, I'll probably be over this whole thing by tomorrow.

(this chapter is kinda short I hope you liked it!)