𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗩𝗼𝗹. 𝟭
🏎️ English Version 🏎️
Abigail Mathews had always felt in the blurry part of the picture, wondering if, in her work at the Haas F1 Team, anyone would ever really notice her.
But an email, one morning, ca...
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Empty Polaroid
Principality of Monaco, April 2022
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"What do you think?" The boy asked me, quickly running a hand through his hair, and then resumed buttoning his white shirt. I watched him through the reflection of the mirror, sitting on the bed and intent on putting on black pumps, matching my dress.
It already seemed so far away, the same afternoon, when Charles had invited me to buy a dress for the charity evening, only to end up paying for it himself. We had driven around the city, passing at least twice in front of the Monte Carlo Casino and retracing the Grand Prix road back and forth.
"On what exactly? Because I can say that the suit makes you even more attractive." I snorted a laugh, settling better on the double quilt, untying the red hair that until a few moments before had been held up by pliers.
"Of everything, what do you think of work, of me, of you. What do you think, Abigail Mathews?" He looked at me from the mirror, then turned around so as not to lose my emotions.
"Well, it's not a simple question" I began, thinking about it "The job is my dream job. Working in Formula One is a dream. I found myself for too long as a spectator, observing what I wanted to do. But after graduating, I was lucky enough to start playing sports almost immediately." I smiled thinking back to the early days.
"Very often they didn't choose me as an engineer to take on trips, it happened sometimes, but from the many things to do I often couldn't look at the circuits, the paddock... With Ferrari it was different" I began to move my eyes into hers "Getting to know you was a breath of fresh air, for example on hot days, where you are constantly looking for it. It's arrived, you've arrived."
"I love Ferrari" He spoke almost lost in thought, but his expression conveyed love, passion, "I won't leave for any reason, I want to win with them, to be remembered for winning here, with the red car." He confirmed what I already imagined, then shut up and waited for me to open up to him, about anything.
"I have always repeated this speech in my mind, so much so that I feel like I have told myself too many times." I watched him sit in the armchair next to the vertical mirror.
"Ever since I was little, I've always imagined myself in the dark corner of the photo, the blurred corner, which the lens chooses not to show in full." I pointed my gaze towards the polaroid placed on his bedside table, which in those days of vacation I had noticed portrayed the pilot, together with his two brothers.
"Like that," I pointed to her, "It's a photo, there are people in it. It's printed, it's real. But often in my life I have had to ask myself so many times... Am I real? Why don't you see me?" My question echoed almost silently in the room, with a Leclerc who looked at me almost curiously, attentively.
"I never talk about it, but in Haas, I was treated well, of course. However, I was not always recognized for what I did, they did not always choose to take me around, as I told you before. My work was worth as much as that of others, but it was not praised as theirs. That's why, when I received the promotion email, I didn't believe it at first." Bitterness took possession of my emotions "Who chooses something or someone that no one has ever considered?" I almost asked myself, as if not to be forgotten.
When you are faced with two foods and one you have never tasted, while the other is your favorite... What do you choose? What do you think?
"The blurred part was almost my locus amoenus, I had perhaps come to look for a refuge, in that hiding place. However... You decided it was worth it for me, to fill that empty polaroid." I smiled unconsciously, looking at the floor. The springs of the bed bent under his weight, a sign that he had decided to sit next to me.
"I don't know if I can add anything more. What do I think? Of you, who are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Abigail. But this is not about physical beauty." His gaze called to me, so much so that I turned my head towards his words.
He placed a hand on my neck, caressing it silently, but then resumed: "I like it, your mind. It's your mind that drew me in."
I often wondered if it wasn't a race, continuous, against time that we were afraid of not enjoying. I had known Charles for almost four months, yet we were in the same house, sharing the bed and our most hidden thoughts.
"I think it's often worth thinking. Sometimes I'm afraid of exaggerating and messing up my mind, but other times I feel like I'm doing it too little." He confided in me lying down and remaining with his feet on the ground.
"I'm sure I'm thinking too much, but I live on intrusive thoughts, do you know what they are?" I asked rhetorically, "Those that begin with if or if they are intrusive thoughts, it means that they do not come from you. I'm the opposite of who you are... But I always fall for it, you know?" I looked at the ceiling, once I lay next to him.
They walked silently, like a monster under the bed, taciturn they entered the mind, turning it upside down. You rejected them, you tried, but how could you not think, what if...?
"I can be your wall, if you will let me Abigail... I can stand in front of you and stop everything. Lean on me, if you want. I'll keep you." He whispered into my heart, in a low voice, almost as if by raising it, our bubble could burst.
I turned around, finding him a few inches from me and kissed him.
I'm leaning on you, don't let me fall.
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Hey, how are you?
A special chapter that in reality, at the time when I finished the Predestined on wattpad (in Italian) was not there. Writing the second volume I had a miss, I missed Charles so much as if I were Abigail and I had to write it. It's a small way to remember, to scratch some details, I keep you, he said, but we know that in the end he didn't.
