𝐀 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 | 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨

★━━─ 8 | Loss

[disclaimer; Hope is The Thing with Feathers is a poem written by Emily Dickinson, existing in the public domain]

───── ─────

Hope is the thing with feathers—

That perches in the soul—

And sings the tune without the words—

And never stops—at all—

───── ─────

Hope was something that was long gone from Sanzu. His days consisted of a never-ending cycle of killing people for his own entertainment, getting high from drugs, and spending the rest of his time getting wasted in a bar. Each hit, each drink, each life taken was a hollow attempt to fill the void within him. He wasn't happy, nor was he sad; he was just an empty shell of a man who existed for one purpose—Mikey.

The thrill of the kill, once a powerful adrenaline rush, had dulled over time, becoming a routine as mundane as breathing. The drugs, meant to elevate him to euphoric heights, now barely scratched the surface of his numb existence.

Nights at the bar blended into one another, a haze of cheap liquor and meaningless conversations. The people around him were mere background noise, faceless entities that drifted in and out of his life without leaving a mark.

Sanzu's soul had withered, suffocated by the darkness that clung to him like a second skin. He moved through life like a ghost, detached and indifferent, his actions driven by an unbreakable loyalty to Mikey. Mikey's commands were the only anchor in his aimless existence, the only semblance of direction in a life devoid of meaning. Sanzu had long ceased to question his purpose or his worth; he was a tool, a weapon wielded by Mikey, and that was enough—or so he convinced himself.

But in the quiet moments, when the drugs wore off and the bar was empty, a flicker of something long forgotten would stir within him. A memory of laughter, a flash of a smile, the echo of a time when hope still had a place in his heart. These fleeting glimpses were quickly buried under the weight of his reality, but they lingered, haunting the edges of his consciousness.

He had buried hope so deep that he no longer believed it could resurface. The man he once was, full of dreams and aspirations, had been consumed by the persona he had crafted—a ruthless, unfeeling enforcer living in Mikey's shadow. And so, Sanzu continued his cycle of destruction and oblivion, an empty vessel drifting through a sea of darkness, unaware that the ember of hope still smoldered within, waiting for the chance to reignite.

He couldn't exactly remember how or why he had ended up by Mikey's side, or what had made him so important to him. The path that led him to become the person he was now was a blur. His entire life was dictated by Mikey's movements—a man whose single order could end his life. Mikey, his one true friend, held an unshakable sway over him, commanding his loyalty with an almost fatalistic devotion.

It all came to a halt.

A single glimmer; a split-second shine. Hope.

The girl had suddenly appeared in his life, breaking down the walls he had kept so high all those years. Her laughter was infectious, her smile like sunlight piercing through the thick fog that had enveloped his heart. She had a way of seeing right through him, understanding his fears and insecurities without judgment. With her, he felt a warmth he hadn't known in a long time, a sense of belonging that had eluded him for years.

He had found someone with whom he was willing to spend his life. Her presence was like a gentle breeze, slowly but surely sweeping away the suffocating shadows of his past. She listened to his stories, the ones he had never shared with anyone, and in her eyes, he saw acceptance and love. It was as if her very existence breathed new life into his weary soul, filling the void that had once seemed endless.