The love language

A plan

"Do you guys have plans for Valentine's day?" Rajesh said in the middle of the living room, which made everyone look at him and the envelopes in his hands. "What do you think about going to India for my wedding?"

As soon as that was said, Bernadette sat on the sofa. She smiled hearing about Raj's plans for the wedding, but something didn't sit well with her.

She kept thinking about Felicity.

Yes, the young girl with her black hair kept returning to her mind. Since they went to the planetarium, Bernie kept messaging the girl and they became quite friends. They were not close yet, but Bernie didn't mind if this happened. She seemed fun and she offered to watch her kids, which was a help that Bernie would indeed take advantage of some time or another. And, in this short time that she talked with the girl, her first opinion stood still – Felicity was in love with Rajesh.

And she would be devasted knowing that Rajesh would be marrying in three months.

"I didn't know that you would be inviting so many people," Bernie says as she sees that he has quite a lot of envelopes.

"Oh," He sits on the ground "I plan to invite some people from work, even though I know most of them won't go."

"People from work? Like Felicity?"

Rajesh stops in his tracks for a second. He does remember what happened in the telescope room and he does know what he almost did there. He hated himself for it – he promised himself to be a more rational guy – and yet, he almost threw everything out in the window for some girl he knew for sure didn't want anything with him.

"Yes, I plan to invite her." He tried his best to not let any strange signals. "Why do you ask?"

"Bernie is talking to her quite a lot on the phone." Howard answers "And she promised to help with the kids when needed, so we want to keep her on our good side."

Rajesh nods and Bernie raises her eyebrow. Something feels off.

However, before they can continue the conversation any longer, Penny brings in another topic.

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I walk through the cafeteria with a smile on my face. This was the place where I met Raj – and now I will meet his best friend's wife.

I confess I was a little nervous, after all, she sent me a message saying she needed to tell me something important. I tried to make her tell me on the phone, and she said she couldn't – it had to be face-to-face.

Of course that made me more nervous. A lot of possibilities ran into my head – some good and some bad.

The bad ones were related to her saying she hates me and that I had to stop talking with her, ending with her throwing her coffee on me and me in the hospital with a burn on my face, that would scar and make me ugly for the rest of my life.

The good one was Rajesh appearing instead of Bernadette, telling me that he broke off his engagement and would like to be my lover. We would leave the street together hand in hand smiling like fools.

Soon the good illusion faded – After all I saw Bernadette coming towards me. So, all that was left was the bad one – and I was terrified it would happen.

"Thank you for accepting my invitation on such short notice" She smiles at me sitting down. "Did you already order?"

"Yes, I did." I feel my hands sweating "I didn't order anything for you because I didn't know what you would like to eat."

"No problems." She orders and then stays quiet for a while.

"How are the children?"

"Good. Being the little demons they are, but good."

My racing mind starts to look for something to say but she starts talking before I fret more.

"I invited you here because I have something serious to say, and I know it would be better to listen to it first from me than from Raj."

My eyes widened and my mind, who was already working like a coffee addict without coffee, was worse than before.

"What does Raj have anything to do with me?"

"I know you love him."

I must look like a ghost was in front of me. I know I do.

"Please, calm down."

"Impossible." Is my short answer "Does he know? Of course, he knows after all if he didn't know you wouldn't be telling me this, oh my god he wants to stop working with me, of course, he does and then what will I do I will have to look for another person, and I..."

"STOP" She screams and then I shut up. How does someone so tiny look so terrifying? "He doesn't know. Or at least he pretends he doesn't know."

"What is this supposed to mean?"

"I'm sure he suspects about your feelings, but he doesn't want to admit it. Anyway, what I'm going to tell you is about him. He is going to get married three months for now."

"Three?"

"Yes. Yesterday he and his fiancée gave us the invitations and said to us that the date will be on Valentine's Day. The wedding is supposed to happen in India."

Yes, I know he was engaged. I know I didn't have a chance. But my heart felt sad nonetheless.

"You can cry if you want."

I give her a sad smile.

"Thank you, Bernadette." I take a deep breath "But what I had to cry I already did. I didn't expect it to be this soon, but I think is better. I don't have any chance anyway, better to lose the little hope I have sooner than later."

Our orders arrive and we start eating in silence.

I knew he was about to get married, but it was so soon. They met not long ago and they were going to get married already!

"I..."I see the person in front of me in an internal struggle "Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this, but I think you may have a chance with him."

"What?"

"Raj is not in love with Anu. She is a nice lady and all, I like her a lot, but Raj is not in love with her. He is only marrying her because he wants to marry, not because he wants to marry her." She sighs "Howard already tried to talk about it with him, but they had a huge fight and we decided we wouldn't be butting in his business anymore but..." She takes a sip of her beverage "I think he does feel something for you and doesn't want to admit it because he is focused on his goal."

I nod. My hearts jump at the possibility, but my mind screams at it.

"Even...even if you are correct and Raj feels something for me, even if a little." I use my fork to play with my food. "What should I do about it?"

"Confess, of course."

"But..."

"No buts." She says in an authoritarian tone "Listen. Rajesh will give his wedding invitation to his coworkers, and he said he will give it to you too. In the moment he gives you the invitation, you confess." I try to argue but her face scares me before I do "If Raj sees that he has another option, an option he feels something for, he may change his mind." She smiles softly "I don't want him entering a marriage just for the sake of it."

I nod.

"I will try my best." I decided "I will keep in touch about it."