Tranquility

Fifth call

I'm so fuckin' washed up and seasick
Masochistic kid with a split lip
Six feet deep, I can't eat I'm nervous
Won't stay down 'cause my body purges

A couple of days later
I have him on the line again.

"Suicide Hotline, Harry speaking. How can I help you?"

"You weren't working last night."

"Hi, Louis. No, I had the day off, but you can always talk to someone else."

"I don't want to. Fucking Bethany gave me the cliché phrases so I hung up on her."

"Okay. How are you?"

"I'm so fucking washed up and seasick."

He has a way with words.
I wonder if he writes poetry?
Song lyrics?

He let's out a hollow laugh.
"I even started a fight with someone at the pub yesterday to get me ass kicked like some rebellious teenager."

"Why?"

"I wanted to feel physical pain instead. It makes more sense, you know what I mean? Someone punches you in the face and it hurts where they hit you. That's easier to deal with than this crap. Fuck, I sound masochistic."

"I get it and you don't sound masochistic."

"You're just nice, Harry. Anyway, I think I'm gonna go to the hospital. I owe me family to at least try and get some help."

"Really? That's wonderful, Louis! I'm so happy to hear that."

"It's either that or end it. I can't anymore. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I'm fucking numb, Harry. Such a scary feeling, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever been suicidal?"

That's personal.
"Yes. In high school. I got bullied pretty bad."

"I hate fucking bullies!" He spits out.

"Me too."

"You didn't end it. Stupid statement. Of course, you didn't, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me about it." He mutters.

"I told my mum finally and she made sure I got help."

"Good. Fuck, I miss me mum so fucking much. I don't know who I am anymore without her. It might sound silly. I'm a grown up man, for fucks sake but she was always there, giving me advice."

"What advice would she give you tonight if she was still here?"

"To get some fucking help." He snorts.

"You're doing just that."

"Yeah, I guess."

Sigh. Inhale. Exhale.

"I gotta go. Thanks, Harry."

"Get help, Louis. You can get through this. It will get better."

"Talking from experience, I guess?"

"Yes."

"Alright, Bye."

"Bye."

I do a silly dance
as we hang up the phone.
He's getting help! I'm so happy.