-nightmare on epex street-

chapter 17: the game, idiots

flashback

a/n this one gets a little steamy, and.... wet?
warning wall if you don't like the sound of that!

Mu pov

I stayed there with my head on his shoulder for a while as he stroked my hair. It felt nice.. "Did you sleep well? You seem really tired today." I nodded into his shoulder, feeling the urge to just tell him already. The way I'm feeling keeps getting worse the longer I stay quiet. To my dismay, he lightly pushed me off, and grabbed my shoulder. I gasped audibly, "Can I ask you something, Mu?" I nodded slowly as my breathe stiffened. "This morning, what did you mean by you being "the problem" ? And, you said that you.. love me, but can't have me? Do you really think that? Do you really.. love me?" My eyes went wide, and I could feel my jaw drop to the floor. I- he wasn't there! I was dreaming that! Right? He pulled away quickly, and said "I-I'm sorry! Uhm.. just forget I asked!" He turned away awkwardly, his face red. I couldn't move, I couldn't even talk! I had so much to say to him, and yet I couldn't speak. I just wanted to hold him, to touch his face and kiss him, but I couldn't bring myself to.

"Just kiss already and make up or something!" Me and Yewang jumped at the sudden shout from behind us. I whipped my head around immediately, and saw Donghyun standing there. I heard a click from the other direction, and saw Dawit standing by the back door removing his shoes. "Donghyun! Wait, I thought you didn't get off 'til four! What are you doing here, and why the hell are you so quiet?!" Yewang shoulder at him, while I sat and watched. "Chill, why are you so angry? Is it cause I interrupted something?" Right after Donghyun said that, he was smacked in the face fairly hard by Dawit. "you should get some rest, wouldn't want you getting even more high off sleep deprivation." Dawit said that in his very soft voice. Donghyun nodded, then turned to the next room over, "HEY! I'm gonna go pass out in you bedroom, kay, Baek?" "Okay!" Baekseung shouted from the other room in response. Donghyun left to the bedroom, Dawit lightly bowed to us, and followed behind him. "Sorry about them.. You just have to get used to them." Yewang said apologetically. "No, they're fine. I uhm, I think I needa rest too. You were right, I didn't sleep too good last night." He nodded, and gestured for me to lay my head on his shoulder, which I did. I closed my eyes, and tried to fall asleep.

I couldn't get it out of my head. The fact that I had really told him everything, and that it wasn't just a dream. It feels like my heart is gonna explode. Now I'm leaning on him, like it's nothing. "I never could've imagined that this would be how we turned out.. honestly, I remember being kids, playing around with each other doing completely stupid things. Now, we're basically adults, and I just hope we'll keep going. It both feels like nothing's changed, and like nothing's the same all at once."

Hmm?

Yewang said exactly what I had been thinking. He started to strike my hair again, and I finally felt like I was really drifting off.

"Mu?" I woke up in a car.
I turned to my left, and saw Baekseung driving. "Mu, you still awake? We can't- WE CAN'T FALL ASLEEP, MU!" How long was I out for? The rain from earlier had lightened up enough for us to be able to talk without shouting, but it was still pouring down. "We've gotta make it back to our group.. what's left of it at least..." He said, and tbe memories from before of the blood on my hands was overwhelming, it felt like it was still there. I could've sworn my hands went red for a moment. I turned to him, "I'm sorry. I really couldn't stop it." I saw tears roll down his face.