dedicated to d.

a letter for d.

Hi, D.

I don't know if you'll see this or not, but I kinda hope that you'll see this.

This book is made to compile my love letters to you. As I said before, I am a coward. I know well that you don't want me to call myself a coward, but I still think I am that word.

Even that I have confessed my true feelings to you, I still have more feelings lingering in my heart and thoughts lingering in my mind. I can't tell you these thoughts directly so that's why I made this book.

As you might have noticed from my Wattpad page, I'm a fan fiction author and have been writing since I was a little kid. Well, I may not be as good as you, but I really enjoy writing. (Don't read my fiction books please, they're cringey as hell thanks to teenage me)

And also maybe you can also realize that I'm pretty insecure. Either it's about my physique, personality, studies, career, or future, basically my whole life. It is true that I kinda seek some sort of validation, but it is actually from myself. Yet I still don't know how can I gain that.

I love how you reacted to my confession positively and even made efforts to get closer with me. But the overthinking and insecure me always have second thoughts and a lot of  'what if's in my head.

Does he followed my second account because he wanted to know me better?
As future lovers?
Or just as friends?

I frankly don't know, D.

I do like you a lot and I really want to say it to you, yet I can't.

I don't know if this talking stage is for us to get closer as future lovers or just as friends?

This is the main concern, D.

That is the sentence that's in my mind 24/7 and it's hurting my head and heart.

Just read this 'book' and you'll get to know me more and also maybe it can answer the questions you have in your head about my feelings.

Sincerely,
N.