dedicated to d.

trying to move on and missing you

Hi, D.

It's been a while since the last chapter, and since the closure you gave me. I already know that you were never into me in romantic way. But it's okay. I can make myself busy with my internship and here I am about almost a month later.

I have to admit that tying to move on from you is really difficult especially I don't want to remove you from my second account again. But I did mute your stories. Although... I still view your stories either way to know how are you doing.

I do still screenshot our friends' stories if they got you in it. Why are you so hard to erase? Should I really remove you again from my private account? It will look really petty of me. But I hate how you said in your last statement that you'll understand if I need time for us to become friends, yet you still interact with me by replying to my stories, or even just by viewing it.

I also don't like how Instagram's algorithm works. Why are they showing me your notes on reels? Why is it on reels that I feel relatable to? Even though I'm sure it's not about me. When can I stop hallucinating?

Please don't be nice to me if you are not interested in me. Like I'm trying to do to you.

Have you wondered why I stopped using emojis and put extra letters on words in our chats? It's because I want to show that I'm mad at you and trying not to look interested anymore. But I could never lie about my real feelings to myself.

This hurts, D.