Sin-bin

Chapter 34 - Marical

The articles came out around dinner time the same day. 

I was with Dallas after catching up on how we spent our time since he had just gotten back from being with his family in Cheyenne. He showed me the clothing his family got him and also a video of his little brother Jamie freaking out over a game he really wanted. It was cute and made me happy that he had a family that supported him. I told him all about my time with the Toivanens. He smiled so encouragingly as I explained my escapades with the kids and the way Toi and Diana taught me how to make a roast. I told Dallas we shoudl try it some time like when i get back from our New Year's road trip. 

Obviously, the afternoon was not entirely wholesome. I missed his body, his smooth skin, and his coconut shampoo. I missed his little whimpers, begs, and demands. I missed how insatiable he is sometimes. 

So, as we lay naked in my bed after cleaning up from an awe-inspiring orgasm, we were lazily scrolling through our social media. I found it first because I was tagged in the comments by a fan, I assume. 

My heart dropped. 

I didn't want to believe it was real. I wanted the photos to be AI-generated or some shit, and the article was written by a shitty little hockey blog that nobody believes. But it was clearly me. Leaning over the console of the car to hold Dallas' face to mix our breaths and tongues in a hot reunion. It was so clearly Dallas who smiled with joy after I pulled away, hands on the wheel, ready to take us home. 

It was Dallas, lying next to me with his legs intertwined with mine, softly tracing my shoulders as he innocently scrolled on his phone, too. I could feel the bile rising in my throat before I could think. My body moved on autopilot, quickly untangling itself from Dallas to sprint to the bathroom. Our lunch is sitting disgustingly in the toilet as I hyperventilate over the ceramic bowl. 

It was everywhere. The photos where everywher.e Everyone knew. They all saw it. I can't deny it. Fuck, it's everywhere. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. They all know. 

I can feel Dalla's hand rubbing my back soothingly, whispering questions about if I'm okay or if I need water. I can't stand it; my body is too shaky, and my breathing is physically hurting my chest. Fuck. Fuck! This was never supposed to happen. No one was supposed to know. They all know. It hurts. 

Dallas grabbed my shoulders, yanking me away for the toilet, where I hovered like a statue. He yanked my chin up to look at him, his big, beautiful brown eyes staring at me with concern and determination. 

"Breathe, Marical. Deep breath in, one—two—three—four. Breathe out, one—two—three—four. Again, breathe in."

I try to copy his breathing, listening to his count as my chest cramps with anxiety and fear. My body doesn't stop shaking, and I realize now that I'm sobbing. fucking bawling. It makes my head hurt. I want it all to go away. I want to be alone in my apartment, straight and not in the news, with a body that doesn't hurt and a heart that isn't being wrung out. 

But Dallas kneads my shoulders as we breathe, sitting down on the floor in front of me so we're closer together. Neither of us is clothed, so his piercings twinkle in the bathroom lights. The floor is cold under our naked skin. His voice is wavering with fear, but he's clearly trying to be strong. 

I hear my phone go off in the bedroom. First, my body and mind react with utter reclusion, tensing up and bile rising again. But then I realize the ringtone. It's my agent, Hayden. I try to get my body to stand, but I almost instantly fall over. Dallas tries to catch me, but I'm basically double his weight, so it doesn't go well. But the phone keeps ringing, and I need to answer this to erase this whole mess. Dallas tries to get me to sit down again, but I push him away. I need to be away. I need to answer the call. It all needs to go away.