How I actually liked you (note)

happen again

Sal's pov

After we drop off Travis I waved to him and he when into his house. I was worried about him..but he was better now- well some what and his dad was in jail in which he had a restraining order so why was I so worried..

He been so happy yet was I happy my self, we had so much fun today, so what was my brain not thinking right, I just shook it off as me being paranoid, the car then stopped in the parking lot of the apartment. I got out of the car letting dad finish his call for work. I got in the lobby I thought maybe I could talk to Larry to see if he could help if he was sober enough, yeah I know he's not my therapist but I couldn't book a appointment closer and it was a weeks away but know but i could try to ask him for help in some way Larry was like a brother to me in a way so why not?

Travis's pov

When sal had left the driveway i felt empty and alone. mom was still with me but it wasn't full enough I guess, In a way it felt wrong saying that but in a sense nothing felt right without him. Maybe it was the fact that i just loved sal to much, but i didn't like how empty the house felt in general

Sal's pov

I went and put the key card into the slot and pushed the button to the basement, I sighed as I knocked on the door of the apartment. that's when Lisa answered the door

Lisa:"hiya sal, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Larry?..it kinda important.."

Lisa:"oh yeah he's out back he should be in his tree"

"thanks lisa.."

she then let me into the apartment room as I went to Larry's room, I went to the back and put the extra hoodie that I left there and put it on going up the stairs and out to the back.

I soon came upon Larry's tree house and climbed the ladder "Larry you up here??.."

Larry:"yeah I'm here what's up"

as I got to the top Larry immediately knew.

"what's wrong man.."

I sat on the floor hanging my feet of the edge of the ladder.

"well..it's like..I dunno I'm worried about stuff I shouldn't be..like Travis..he's conquer his biggest fear and he seems so happy now and is going through a lot as a person but I'm thinking things that might not be true or I'm just bugging.."

Larry looked at me

"mmm..it's sounds like your afraid that he's going to change more than you do and your brain is rationalizing it to be a bad thing, or what it seems..I'm not a professional man..but that what I think so you have to find your own change to make it better for you"

I sat in silence for a minute as sanity's fall blared in the background

"t-thank..I'll call you if I need anything okay"

Larry smiled watching me go down the ladder.

Larry:"later dude!"

Right after I got down to the ground I went straight up stairs to see what this "big change" would be writing everything that I could think of down, And after like an hour I thought I had it but..

"maybe?..no! Agh.."

I then cramped the last piece of paper I had and throw it into the corner with the rest of them

"maybe calling him will make me feel better.."

I then called Travis and went straight to voicemail.

"hm..that not like him, he usually answers.."

then there was a text notification it was Travis..

Travis:"sorry won't be available for a while at the doctor kinda important :("

i text him back saying

"it's okay it wasn't really that important just wanted to talk to you..<3"

he sent a heart back and I just laid there in my bed after I looked at it

"why can't I figure this out? why was it so easy for him anyways, oh yeah his dad is a piece of shit.." i had a snarky tone in my voice as I looked up to the celling. sighing i went back out I didn't have anything else to do so I went to see mom.

My steps trail as the sidewalk scuffed up my shoes. As I got to the graveyard I immediately spotted her grave, getting to my knees and sitting in front of it.

"hey mom..I know I haven't visit in a while..but I'm here aren't I?.." I sighed as I looked at her grave.

"I know you not actually here.. but to be honest mom..I think I'm ready to come up with you..I'm struggling..and I don't know what my so called "big change" is..and I'm getting worried about everything"

my breath lingered as I continue to look at her name.

"but that might be the fact that my prozac is not working any more.."

I start to tear up as i longingly look at her grave.

"I-I miss you mom..and I wish you where here.."

I stay there cry for a bit before putting my hood up again. Travis would be home by now right? grab my phone out of my pocket I called him, he picked up right away

Travis:"h-hey sal, you okay? It's like 10 o'clock?!.."
he sounded like he had just woken up.

"yeah I just wanted to make sure you were home"

"yeah I'm- why?"

"Look out your window.."