Old Hallways, New Hearts

How Does That Make You Feel?

Jordyns POV
3 WEEKS LATER

"Baby please stop being stubborn." Selene begs but I just can't.

"Baby I said I'm fine. I don't need it." I retort. She eyed me with warning.

I feel my shoulder being pushed down and I sit in the wheelchair. I look up and see Zarina staring me down. "She asked nicely." She says and I huff crossing my arms.

"Thank you Ri. I'll call you when we get home." Selene says and then pushes me in the wheelchair out of my room to finally leave the hospital. "You really need to stop being stubborn baby. Just because the hospital let you go, doesn't mean you're ready to be doing everything again." She says and I roll my eyes.

"I'm fine Selene. My ribs are healed, I can breathe normally and the stitches have healed too. See, fine." I say and she scoffs.

"You're sounding like me now. Are you going to wait until the nightmares hit you too?" She asks with attitude.

I sigh. "Baby." We make it outside. I grab her hand and pull her to be infront of me. "I will go see someone for any trauma I may have. I don't feel anything right now but if I do, I will get help. But physically baby I'm ok. I'm sorry for being stubborn. I understand you're just taking care of me I'm just not used to it. I'm sorry." I say and she smiles and leans down to kiss me.

"Let's go home." I nod and she takes me to the car and helps me in and then takes the wheelchair back inside. I sigh in relief finally going home. I turn to the drivers side as she gets in. "This feels different." I look at her curiously. "You're usually the one driving." She says and I chuckle. I grab her hand and she smiles at it. I kiss the back of her hand and smile at her.

"I love you so fucking much Selene. Thank you."

"I love you too."

We make it home back to her apartment and we walk hand in hand. "You need an elevator. This is terrible." I say as we walk up the stairs.

She laughs. "It's not that bad." She says and then opens the door. I laugh and then I look up and the image of me standing with a gun to my face flashes. "Jordyn!" I hear Selene and the image of me hanging on that hook and him punching my face shows up. "Jordyn! Baby!" She has my face in her hands and she's looking at me with concern. I look around and we're back in the apartment.

I take a breath. "I'm sorry." She looks over me and then hugs me. "Think I'm going to need that number." I say and swallow.

1 WEEK LATER

"So why are we here?" The blonde woman asks as she has a pen and pad in her hand on top of her lap.

I sigh. "I've had vivid day dreams of my girlfriends ex fiancé beating the crap out of me." I say.

She nods and then sighs. "And why exactly is that Jordyn?"

"Because he did. The dreams that I'm having aren't dreams they happened. And they aren't even happening while I'm asleep. I'm wide awake and everytime I'm behind the wheel, I find myself driving to the warehouse he had me in or I'm in my own home and a gun is in my face. My girlfriend is crying as I bleed out and my face is swollen from the brass knuckles he put to my face."

"I'm sorry that happened to Jordyn." I scoff. "Is this man still in your life?" I shake my head. "Where is he?"

"Dead. My girlfriend killed him after he shot me."

Her eyes wide . "You've been shot as well?" She asks in shock. I nod. "Wow. Uhm, I guess I don't really have to ask why you are experiencing trauma the way you are. But I do have to ask is, do you regret your decision?"

I look at her confused. "Regret what decision?"

She shrugs. "The decision to continue to be with the woman whose ex did what he did to you." She says.

"W-what are you saying?"

She shakes her head. "I'm not saying anything Jordyn. I'm asking a question. Do you regret continuing your relationship with your girlfriend after what happened to you?"

"No! Hell no! I love Selene! What happened wasn't her fault!" I say.

She raises her hands and then drops then and looks at me with furrowed eyebrows. "So why do you think, you are experiencing these day dreams of reality?"

I shrug. "Because it was traumatic?" She nods. "I don't regret staying with her, I just-I just don't want it to happen again. I felt like what happened to her with him was my fault and then what happened to me I also felt like it was my fault. I mean if I never came into her life again like I did, he wouldn't have been so angry with her. Maybe she would've taken him back and everything would've been fine. But when he did what he did, I didn't finish it. I let him go and then he got out. She had to be the one to kill him because of me."

"And how exactly does that make you feel?"

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. "Like I shouldn't be here. I-I died twice in surgery, doc. I should be dead."

"Survivor guilt? You think you should be dead instead of him because you feel like you took the life he's supposed to have?" My mouth opens but I don't say anything after thinking about it. "Jordyn," she reaches for my hand and I hesitate but I grab it. "You shouldn't feel guilty for being happy with someone who is happy with you. She chose to end things the way she did because she didn't want her past that she has to get through herself, affecting you anymore. He's gone and you're not. He cannot hurt you anymore. And he cannot hurt her anymore. You want to protect her?" I nod. "You did. Your pain and the time of your weakness was just what she needed to have the strength to fight against him. And she won. She's ok Jordyn. You can rest."