The Writer's Mistress

Chapter 4 -It's just coffee..-

"It's just coffee..."

Eli and I talk for a bit about my love/hate relationship with romance novels. I love most books that display a bond between two individuals cut from a different cloth than one another; but in a cosmic way they are also the same. The one thing being what they both crave is each other. There's always some kind of provoked passionate between the two. It's love, it's hate, it's intense...

But that's why I loathe it as well. Passionate fades. It's only real in the pages of a book.

When those words leave my lips, I pause and stare down at the table. "Do you really believe that Anais?" Eli asks quietly. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe it's...  just from experience."

I'm starting to get uncomfortable with this.

Maybe I've said too much to this kind stranger. "I'm sorry that was kind of heavy. I've just been in a funky lately, and these books are just a way of distracting myself." Eli leans in from across the table and stares into my eyes before saying, "Don't apologize. Don't ever apologize for speaking your mind." He leans back on his chair again. "But... you do have an interesting point of view on the matter of love."

"Have you been in love before?" I bravely ask him. He looks around him as if he's about to tell me a secret. "No, not really. I've had loving-ly affairs. But the deep and passionate love you speak of, no. I haven't been so lucky"

He makes my heart flatter for a second. I catch myself melting away by the look in his eyes.

End the conversation, right here and right now Anais.

I push back my seat and stand to my feet. "I need to go; it was really nice meeting you and talking to you. But I have to go now." I instantly jet for the door, trying my best to pull my car keys out of my purse, making my way on to the sidewalk. Just as I pull my keys out, I can hear Eli calling out for me. When he catches up to me, I'm out of breath from trying to flee the scene. "Anais, did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's not you. I..." I can't get the words out. I know I'm probably being ridiculous right now. It's just an innocent coffee, I'm not cheating on my husband. I need to just get it out there. "I'm married." I blurt out. Eli lowers his eyebrows and bites his lower lip before saying anything. I, myself don't really know where to go with what I just said. I go to turn around to begin leaving again.

"Wait, why can't we just talk? I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do." He insists. But Eli has no idea the effect he is having on me right now. "I think you're interesting and well-spoken. And I just want to keep talking to you. That's it." I can't help but crack a smile after that. "If I'm being honest though, in the spirit of our new potential friendship. I just also happen to think you're one beautiful woman."

Just as those words leave his lips, I stare at him for moment. I believe he meant it; I haven't heard those words in years. Being called beautiful was foreign to me. Edmond doesn't notice when I try to dress up and he doesn't compliment me anymore. But Eli's words meant something to me in an unexplainable way. Eli's eyes are bright once again and he's looking at me in a way that is unfamiliar.