Wish I Were Quackity - Skephalo

You Deserve To Be Loved

It has been about two weeks since Skeppy got into the hospital. I have moved back into Skeppy's house and have already let as many people know about Skeppy's situation, including how Quackity was at fault by pushing Skeppy. If anyone asked for more context, I just told them to ask Quackity themselves because I don't want to continuously tell someone a story that mainly happened between other people. They should be the ones to tell the story if they want to. The fans don't know anything that has happened, surprisingly, since the accident was on the news. But then again, it was just on the news for our town, not the whole country or something.

So far, everyone thinks that Skeppy is just on a break or is unmotivated to do videos right now, which is something normal by now to the fans. Meanwhile, I have announced on Twitter that I would be taking a break as well from content, but I will try my best to be a bit active on Twitter. I didn't explain any further than that. Everyone seemingly respected my decision as it must be pretty tiring to have streamed almost every day.

During the first week, each one of our youtuber friends that live in the same town as Skeppy and I have visited Skeppy's room in the hospital at least once during the week. After that, only Melody and I have been visiting Skeppy at the hospital. Melody has been going to the hospital every day for many hours. She leaves the house immediately after having breakfast and doesn't leave the hospital until she is practically starving. Sometimes, she even stays there at the hospital during the night, by Skeppy's side. She says that she does that because she wants to be there the moment that Skeppy wakes up.

I would love to do the same, but... I haven't actually been visiting Skeppy at the hospital as much as Melody has. Why? Because... I have started to partially blame myself for the state that Skeppy is in now. For the pain that he has endured. I feel guilt. So, I feel as though I'm not very worthy of being there by Skeppy's side practically mourning like Melody because... I haven't been there for him as much as I would have liked after dating Quackity.

I just can't help but think how all of this could have been avoided if I had made different decisions. I should have done more for Skeppy so that he wouldn't have felt so lonely, felt as much pain as he had felt. There were so many things I could have done differently to avoid this. I should have spent more time with Skeppy, been there for him more while I was dating Quackity. I could have asked more about what happened at the gathering between Skeppy and Quackity, asked for details, and listened to both stories. There are multiple things I could have done differently. But then I realized that there was something I could've done that would have guaranteed that none of this would happen. I should have been more honest with myself, with my feelings, should have been more realistic, questioned what I really wanted, and should have realized that I actually liked Skeppy all along.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I've liked Skeppy for such a long time now. Perhaps I have even fallen for him. If only I had realized sooner, then I could've saved Skeppy from so much pain and perhaps even saved Quackity from such worries and negative feelings. Because if I had realized my true feelings, then I wouldn't have dated Quackity in the first place. I wouldn't have tried to have a relationship with someone if I had known that my heart was already with someone else. If only I wouldn't have been so naive, oblivious, and dumb...

But in the end, I can't do anything about it now. So, since I have this guilt in my heart, I haven't been in the hospital with Skeppy as much as I would have liked. The moment I see him unconscious in that bed, the more I come to think about how part of this is my fault, which leads me to further belief that I don't have a right to be there, sad and grieving for him. Thankfully, Melody doesn't judge me too much for my decision of not going to the hospital too often. She says that it's good so that I can look after myself as I must be suffering from this as well. She tells me to try to sleep as much as I can during my spare time since I haven't been able to sleep much from worrying. She says it as if she isn't struggling herself from falling asleep...

But today, I have decided to go to the hospital for a bit and check up on how Skeppy is doing so far. As I enter his room, I take in how he looks. He looks slightly better than the first time I came in. The bruises on his face are now fully healed. There's still bandages on his head and legs, but there are slightly less than before. I guess it's because they change the bandages, and from how bad the injuries are, it depends on just how many bandages they use. I look over at Melody, who has been here hours in the room. Today is one of the days where she spent the night here, and she hasn't left yet. It's still basically the morning, but it's a bit too late for breakfast. I bet she hasn't eaten yet and has eyebags.

I go and take a seat on the chair next to hers. She's just silently staring into the distance, but her gaze is on Skeppy's bed. I then gently place my hand on Melody's arm, making her jolt a bit. She looks at me with alarm, but gaze quickly turns more relaxed once she notices that it's me. I gently say, "Melody, I think you should go out and eat something. Did you even get proper sleep last night?"

She looks at me blankly for a moment. She then says, "I don't know... maybe I did get some sleep, but it constantly felt like I kept waking up."

"Well, then you should go and get some sleep and breakfast or something."

She then glances over at Skeppy's unconscious body. I know what she's thinking. I say reassuringly, "Don't worry. He's going to be fine. I'm going to stay here the whole time while you're out. You need to take care of yourself as well. What will Skeppy think if he wakes up to you looking like you haven't taken proper care of yourself? If we want to help take care of him once he wakes up, we need to be healthy ourselves, don't we? And if he ends up waking up while you're not here, you'll be the first person I call. Now go."

Melody looks at me and forces a weak smile on her face, trying to show that she's grateful. She says, "Okay then. Thank you."

She gets up and slowly leaves the room. I hear the gentle click of the door being closed. Once she leaves, I look at Skeppy, and my heart immediately aches at the sight. Oh, Skeppy... I'm so sorry for all of this. You don't deserve it. I wish I could have done more for you. You deserve better. You deserve much more than this. I want to see you happy, no longer in pain. I want to help you be the happiest you've ever been. After a long moment of silence, I think back to what Melody said. She admitted that Skeppy has feelings for me as well. That he's... in love with me.

This means that my feelings for him aren't exactly unrequited. It's mutual. We both just never managed to realize this on our own. After a thoughtful moment, I have an idea. With some courage, I get up from my chair and stand right next to the bed, near the upper part of Skeppy's body. I gently take Skeppy's limp hand in my own. It feels oddly cold on my skin. But I don't care right now. I then say, "Skeppy, I don't know if you can hear me or not, or if you'll even remember my words, but I just want to let you know of something. I feel like I need to open up my heart to you. It feels only right to do so. So... I'm going to make you a promise. I promise that from hear on out, I will do my best to make you the happiest man alive. I will love you how you deserve to be loved. I will dedicate myself to you as I now know that my heart longs for you. I promise that to you."

I stay silent for a moment, and then I let out a shaky breath at what I'm going to do next. I lean down and place a kiss gently on Skeppy's forehead. Once I break the kiss, my lips stay only about an inch away from his forehead. I then whisper out pleadingly, "So please... wake up soon. There are people who are waiting to just drench you with love."