Wish I Were Quackity - Skephalo

Things Keep Going Downhill

After the picnic, Bad and I returned to our house. We came to the park in Bad's car, so we drove back with Bad in the driver's seat. The whole ride back was silent, but I could feel that there was some sort of tension or awkwardness. Even though I didn't really like the tension, I would prefer the silence than to be asked questions. Because, honestly, if I was the one driving, Bad would most likely take the freedom to ask me questions regarding how off I was when he said that he was dating Quackity. Bad knows very well that I can very easily do multiple things at a time, like driving and talking. But Bad can't so easily, so it's no wonder why he isn't saying anything while driving. He needs to put all his focus on the road.

I wish it was the same for when we arrived. We kept quiet as we got out of the car and walked over to the entrance. But once we entered, and Bad locked the door behind us, he immediately turned to me. He asks cautiously, "Skeppy, is... something wrong?"

I get stiff and murmur out, "So you did notice..."

I look at Bad to see that he has an eyebrow raised at me. I sigh and say, "Sorry, dude. It's like I said, I was shocked, and still slightly am if I'm being honest. I just honestly didn't expect it..."

"...I know that, but... there's something else, isn't there?"

I stay quiet for a moment. Debating what I should say. Then I remember that there is something else other than my deep love for Bad that is bothering me. It should probably be a good enough answer for him. I say, "It's just that... before you came out and admitted that you were dating Quackity, I guess I was kind of getting worried..."

"Worried?"

"Well, yeah- it's just that, before I pieced everything together now knowing the fact that you're dating Quackity... I don't know if it has been very evident to you, but I've noticed that you haven't spent as much time with me or in our house... Recently, I haven't seen you around the house as normally as I would like, and when I do see you, you barely give me attention or spend time with me since you're on your phone. Even though you've said that you're busy, and now I understand why you were, I guess I still had doubts. A part of me was starting to think that... you were getting tired of me or didn't love me as much as before or something."

Bad widens his eyes at that, with a worried expression on his face. He immediately exclaims, "No- Skeppy! Don't think like that! I could never get tired of you or love you even less- in fact, I adore you! You know this! You're my best friend, after all! I'm really sorry if I got you worried... and I'll just say that I can't guarantee that I'll get to spend as much time with you or pay as much attention to you as before, now that I'm dating Quackity and need to spend time on our relationship. You know- give attention to my lover and stuff... but don't think that that means I love or care about you any less. We may not be able to spend as much time together as before, but the love and care we have for each other will always be there! We'll always be best friends, Skeppy!"

He gives me a bright smile at the end of his last sentence. I feel a small smile starting to form on my lips. I say, "Really...?"

Bad scoffs in his usual pouty yet playful way. He says, "What do you mean 'really'? Of course I mean it you little numpty!"

My smile widens but then falters after a moment. I say, "But... I understand if you wanted to keep your relationship with Quackity a secret for a while in order to lessen the possibility of it getting in public or something- but still... why didn't you tell me...? You know me better than all of our friends. I would've kept it a secret- and it would've spared me any stress. Plus, what if you kept it a secret for a longer time? It could've caused a misunderstanding between us, Bad! I'm not sure how long I would've been able to hold in my thoughts before I lashed out on you and demanded answers while probably making assumptions... We both know that neither of us would've liked that..."

Bad gives me sympathetic eyes. He says, "I'm sorry, Skeppy... it's not that I don't trust you- because of course I trust you! It's just that I promised Quackity to not tell anyone until we for sure worked things out between us and made sure that things could actually go well and work out between us, that there could potentially be an 'us' for a long time. I did kind of notice my neglectful behavior towards you, but I decided to be ignorant for a while because I had high hopes that Quackity and I would soon be ready to come out clean about our relationship. But I guess that made me ignorant of your feelings as well, considering that my behavior would obviously be most evident and would affect you most since we live together. I could've probably talked things out with Quackity and considered to trust with the information regarding our relationship so that you wouldn't be confused and ease your worries. But the idea didn't cross my mind... I'm sorry, I would've done things differently if I turned back time."

I give Bad a small smile and pull him into a hug. He was surprised but gladly returned the hug. I whisper out, "Thank you... that's all I needed to hear."

"Of course... you know I wouldn't abandon you on purpose, Skeppy."

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A couple of weeks later, I would find out that that was basically an empty promise... though I may just be a bit overdramatic. Because all that Bad told me was that he was moving out of the house and going to move in with Quackity. No- he's just moving out. That isn't abandoning me. He won't forget about me. Right...?

...Well, many days after Bad moved out, it surely feels as though I've been abandoned. Things keep seeming to go downhill for me. I have barely spoken to Bad ever since he moved out. The few words that we've shared have been through text, and it's mostly me just asking him if he wants to record a video or just randomly call to see what's up. ...He always says that he's busy. That we can do it another time. I let these things go, telling myself that he's still adjusting to the move, but once he did his first stream at Quackity's, I knew very well that he's adjusted by now.

What hurt me more is that in his few streams, he never asked me if I wanted to join. He's always with Quackity in those streams, playing minecraft or whatever game together. Sure, mostly there have been other people in those streams, but Quackity is always there. Plus, I wasn't ever asked if I wanted to join or was free to join. The fans haven't really noticed or speculated anything from Bad and Quackity being in so many streams together.

But they sure as hell are starting to wonder why I haven't shown up in any of these streams. But I don't want them to think that something is wrong in our relationship, because there isn't! We just suddenly got a bit distant, not being able to talk to each other as often as before. There aren't any bad vibes between us. We haven't even fought! So, to ease their worries, I try my best to every so often, like fanart and clips of Bad and I on Twitter, or X, however you call it.

Either way, due to my lack of interactions with Bad, I've been feeling quite sad, obviously. Therefore, I haven't had any motivation to record any videos, so I just haven't ever since Bad moved out. I have some videos already recorded that need to be edited or are ready to be uploaded, so I've been trying to time when I upload a new video. Not too often to not run out of videos so fast, and not too long that will get my fans worried.

Other than the YouTube and internet stuff, being around the house itself feels so... depressing. I'm so used to having someone living with me throughout the years. I did use to be roommates with Spifey and Tapl after all. I quickly got a bit depressed once I moved out from there and got my own apartment. I don't know if it's because I'm in love, but when I became roommates with Bad, my days seemed even more livelier than when I was living with Spifey and Tapl. So it makes sense that now that he's gone, the house feels so empty now that there's only one person. It's so lonely here now...

It's always so quiet that the silence seems unbearable. I hate this... I've already broken down crying a few times from the built-up frustration within me. I want some company... No- I'm pretty sure I need some company. Anyone.

I'm currently just laying down on my couch, letting all these thoughts sink in as I look at the ceiling. Almost as if someone was hearing my thoughts, I hear my doorbell. I almost jump from that at the shock. Now, who would be here? It can't possibly be Bad, he would've warned me or something. From how much we haven't spoken, he wouldn't just randomly show up unannounced. He'd feel awkward.

I get up from the couch and head towards the front door. I unlock the door, grab the doorknob, twist it, and open the door. Once I do, my eyes widen from shock at the person in front of me. I haven't seen them in years.