Wish I Were Quackity - Skephalo

Now I Know

(Pretend that all the YouTuber characters I use in this book live in Florida and in the same city, regardless if they do or don't in real life. No hate to any of the youtubers that I use. This is just a story.)

Skeppy's Pov:

Things have been pretty good in life. I'd say that I'm quite a successful youtuber, I have a house, a family, friends, and most importantly, I have an awesome roommate who just happens to be my best friend and fellow youtuber, Badboyhalo! Or Darryl Noveschosch in the real world, though I normally call him Bad. He is a great roommate to have. He can cook really well, though he can be quite stupid sometimes, he is generally good at giving advice, always so encouraging and sweet, and we always manage to have a good laugh and have a great ton of fun, even with our stupid yet silly quarrels.

But lately, I have been noticing a bit of a change. It wasn't too much at first, but over time, I noticed that Bad spent less and less time at our house. He seemed to keep going out more often, and when he was at home, he barely gave me as much attention as before. Sometimes, I would catch him on his phone, and at first I thought that it had something to do with YouTube or Twitch, but I later realized that he mostly spends his time texting on his phone.

When I ask about these things, Bad just brushes it off as if it's nothing. At first, I laid off of him out of respect for him and his privacy, but after some time, I started to get a bit irritated and annoyed at these changes. So when I started pestering about it to him more, he just said that he's been busy with something and needed to put his time and attention into it. Of course, when I asked what that thing was, he didn't tell me and instead said that he needed some more time until he's ready to say anything. I kept asking, but what kept me quiet for a while was when Bad finally said that he promises that he'll say really soon what's been going on.

Right now, Bad and I are at a friend gathering with our fellow youtuber friends who happen to live in the same town as us. The other people here are Sapnap, Karl, Quackity, Redvelvet (Red for short), Antfrost (Ant for short), and Captain Puffy (Puffy for short). We are all currently eating at a table, having a nice picnic at a park. We all have some nice chats in between eating, but then Bad clears his throat to get our attention. We all immediately turn to Bad, who is sitting right next to me. Bad says, "Okay guys, so... Quackity and I have something to say. We didn't mention anything just in case something happened and things didn't work out. But now we are ready."

Bad looks at Quackity, who is sitting on his other side, and Quackity gives him an encouraging nod. Meanwhile, the rest of us give each other confusing looks at what's going on. Bad then takes a deep breath and says, "Quackity and I... are dating."

For a second, there's silence as everyone processes this, really letting the meaning of those words dawn in on them. For a second, there seems to be a slight confusion since everyone else probably thought that Bad liked someone else... but soon after, there's a burst of chatter as everyone congratulates Bad and Quackity. Everyone except me. I'm the only one who has stayed silent. Everyone looks happy while I feel like my heart has shattered into a million pieces. Now everything makes sense of why Bad hasn't been giving me as much attention lately. Now I know it's because he's been spending time with Quackity. Every ounce of hope I had in me that Bad and I's could develop into something more than friends, gone. All of these feelings, all of this deep, meaningful love that I have for Bad, turns out to be a waste. It was all for nothing. It didn't mean anything.

Who am I kidding? How could I have ever hoped, ever thought that Bad could feel the same way that I do for him? How could I think that he could actually fall in love... with me? There's just no way that someone perfect like Bad could ever fall in love with someone like me. I'm not worthy of his love. I'm lucky enough to be even considered his best friend. I just have too many flaws to be even considered boyfriend material, perhaps even just friend material. I'm broken out of my thoughts when Bad says, "Skeppy...?"

I look at him and realize that I've been quiet for so long that everyone has started to take notice of my silence. Bad had a worried look on his face. I say, "Sorry, dude. I spaced out. I'm just a bit... shocked, I guess."

"Oh... then, what do you think? Of Quackity and I's relationship?"

Bad looks a bit nervous, yet my heart crushes even more at the hopeful look in his eye. He's hoping that I'm happy with this. With the fact that he's dating... Quackity. I'm honestly surprised that I haven't started crying yet. But I know for a fact that the tears will come later. I give my best smile and say, "Oh! Well, I'm happy for you two. As long as you two genuinely like each other and make each other happy, then why should I even be against this? I'm glad you two found someone."

That's right. I should be happy about this. Why should I oppose this? How selfish of me if I wished them to break up. What matters is that they're happy together. That's all that matters. Because all I wish is for the people I care about to be happy. If they found happiness with each other, then who am I to stop it? Even if their happiness breaks my heart... that's fine. I'd honestly prefer to suffer more than them. If they're happy, especially if Bad is happy... then I'll be happy for them.

Even though I tried to put on my best happy expression, I can tell that Bad notices something is up. Because he stares for just a second too long, as if studying me, before letting out a sigh of relief and saying, "I'm glad! You almost had me worried there."

He gives me his best smile, but I can tell behind those sympathetic eyes that he's giving me that he suspects something is wrong. I just hope that he doesn't know exactly what is wrong. After that, everyone erupts into cheerful chatter, while I mostly stay quiet. As much as I try to keep up with the conversations and involve myself in it, my mind keeps drifting off to Bad and Quackity's relationship. Something in my gut worriedly thinks that some things are going to change soon. But I'm not sure what will.

Honestly, I'm not really sure about anything with Bad and Quackity's relationship right now. And even though I hate to admit it, one thing I do know is that in this moment... I wish I were Quackity.

(Watch me not post for many days again because of the testing at my school, plus somehow I am getting projects/assignments from teachers even though school is almost gonna end. 😭)