Amidst Our Broken World

Chapter 6 - Jealousy

I was shocked when I heard his name. "Y/N. Doctor Brenner."

I couldn't fathom why he would've assigned me to work with him after all this. How could he still bear face me after knowing he had confined me, condemned me, to a life in this lab? After lying to me, giving me the illusion that he had actually cared for me, wanted the best for me, only to make me a part of his experiment, which I'd never asked for. My future, stolen from me, along with my family, my friends, everyone I'd ever known in my life. Gone.

Who knew when this experiment would be over? Once these children grow up? Once the Soviets make their move? Or when we make our move? Only time could tell. And by the time all of this was over. Where would I be? In my 40s, as a veteran orderly for the lab? Charred to ashes by some nuclear bomb that would hit the lab during the war? Or shot to death already, for making a mistake in this top secret government experiment?

"Ballard. Doctor Brenner." Peter's name extinguished the rising fire that was burning in my chest. For some reason, a different kind of fire became ignited. Something like excitement. I struggled to ignore the fluttering feeling in my stomach, as my heart raced upon picturing us working alongside one another in a matter of minutes.

Idiot. Just because he treats you something other than mean once, you're acting like you've been assigned to work with your best friend on a school project or something.

As subtly as I could, I slipped in between the crowd as us orderlies got up and began to file out of the cafeteria. After weaving my way around shortly, I managed to get a spot behind Peter.

I whispered his name, trying to get his attention, but either he couldn't hear me or he'd chosen to ignore me. I tried again, this time, gently tapping his back, so as to not make too great of a movement to call attention. I was taken aback when I felt him flinch under my touch, as if I was some disgusting insect that had landed on him unexpectedly.

We adjusted ourselves so that everyone could fit in the lift, and I ended up standing behind Peter in a corner. Based on his reaction earlier when we were walking, I guessed he wasn't interested in talking to me. Hell, he probably still hated me anyway. But the somewhat amiable look he'd given me yesterday lingered in my mind, blocking out every other memory I had of him.

Suddenly, I realized how close he was standing in front of me. His tall, sleek figure looked almost protective of me, though I knew it wasn't intended to be. I'm so delusional.

I could smell the sweet scent of the laundry detergent on his shirt, and mixed in it was something else, something sweet and woody, like nutmeg. His tall, sleek figure looked almost protective of me, though I knew it wasn't intended to be. I'm so delusional. 

The warmth of his smell sent memories of the forest flooding through my head. A feeling of sentiment hit me as I remembered the many hiking trips I'd been on with my family. My family, whom I would not see again for a very long time. 

When the elevator door opened on the floor where the scientists' offices were, all the orderlies made their way out, but Peter wouldn't budge. By the time everyone had gotten off, he was still standing in my way.

Hesitant on what kind of reaction I would receive from him, I asked, "Aren't we getting out?"

The door closed. "Doctor Brenner's already downstairs," Peter replied dryly.

I followed Peter wordlessly to whichever room Brenner was supposed to be in. As we walked, I prepared for the speech I was going to give my uncle. It probably wouldn't be something as proper as a speech. A rant would be much more likely. He deserved it. I should scream at him in front of another orderly as an act of defiance. Just because he was a head scientist, didn't mean he was superior to me, didn't mean I had to respect him, and it didn't mean I didn't have rights.