Amidst Our Broken World

Chapter 15 - Confessions

"Y/N?" Peter looked flabbergasted by my sudden appearance.

"You're bleeding so much!" I cried out as I rushed over to tend his wound.

The skin where the Soteria had exited his flesh was ripped open, and thick dark blood was seeping quickly out of the hole. I tore off a piece of my sleeve and pressed it onto the injury. Tears began to blur my vision impulsively, as visions of my savior bleeding to death began to flood my thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" Peter hissed angrily through his teeth. "Didn't I tell you to stay in your room?"

Amidst my blubbering and images of tragedy that were clouding my mind, I managed to admit, "I-I had to confess..." 

I couldn't bring myself to say it. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. This is so embarrassing.

"In here!" a loud gruff voice shouted as the sound of the door being kicked open echoed throughout the room.

Eleven looked around frantically as multiple sets of loud footsteps spread out all over the basement floor.

"Eleven, hide in the air duct now. Y/N and I will circle back to you in a bit," Peter ordered.

Strangely, he seemed quite calm for someone who was about to be captured, tortured, and most likely executed. The wide-eyed girl nodded and crawled her way into the dark space.

"Come on." Peter grabbed my wrist where my hand was still pressing the cloth onto his bloody neck.

We made our way quietly across the room into a corner behind one of machinery tanks. Sitting in silence, we listened to the wary footsteps for the guards who were searching for us. 

We were facing towards each other, and in the cramped space, my legs were practically straddling him against the wall. Meanwhile, his knees were bent to keep his long legs from revealing our hiding space, his shoes planted right next to where I was sitting. I kept my arms folded, hugging myself, for if they'd extended any further, I'd be touching him.

With such close proximity, I could hear his heart racing from the suspense. Or maybe it was my own. At this point, I couldn't really tell. The deafening pulse inside my ears was blocking my hearing. Regardless, I knew for a fact that it wasn't just because of the guards with us in the basement, and it definitely had something to do with how easy it would be right now to run my fingers through his golden locks before he could even say anything.

There was no way he didn't hear my labored breathing as I tried desperately to push that stupid fantasy out of my head in a situation like this and also as I prepared myself for what could be my last words to him.

"P-Peter?" I managed to choke out. "I like you."

He stared at me, dumbfounded. I probably seemed insane for confessing in a situation like this. But if not now, when? Later? When Brenner's murdered the both of us for conspiring Eleven's escape?

"I'm sorry I'm telling you this now, but I just had to get it off my chest. That's why I'm here. To tell you that I care for you because I like you. Even if you don't care about me, I don't think I'll ever stop feeling this way about you."

We sat in silence for a moment. Then Peter smiled at the ground, shaking his head.

"You could have told me this afterwards."

I felt my brown crease. "After what?" After we're dead?

"You'll see," he answered ambiguously.

I was going to ask for more details when he leaned forward and placed his elbows right next to my head. That shut me up immediately. The warm scent of nutmeg mixed with sweet detergent filled my nose, completely and utterly derailing my entire train of thought. My heart was about to fly out of my ribcage, and there was a burning anticipation in my throat preparing me for what was about to happen next.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as I expected as he leaned in next to my ear, exhaling lightly on my skin as I breathed in the new scent of his rose-scented shampoo. This was driving me crazy. I wasn't complaining though because the frenzy this brought upon me was arguably more exciting than an actual kiss. 

I was on the verge of passing out from the Peter-overstimulation when his soothing voice focused my attention back to reality.

"You got it wrong though, Y/N," he cooed softly in my burning hot ear. "I do care for you."

I struggled to form a comprehensive response. I was too busy being overwhelmed by his close presence.

He continued, "When you first got here, I was afraid you'd be just like your heartless uncle. But I couldn't have been more wrong. I've searched every nook and cranny for any sign of what you've shown me to be only a facade, but I found nothing. All I saw was your compassion for others. And I'm sorry I made you misinterpret things as one-sided. I was afraid you didn't feel the same way about me."

I felt his breath slowly move down from the tip of my ear. It was too difficult to process everything he said properly with the way my heart was doing somersaults. "W-was I not obvious?" I stammered.

"You're so kind, Y/N. I could never be certain if you were merely treating me the way you normally treat others, or if you truly cared for me more."

His nose brushed against my jaw. "What about Keira?"

"What about Keira?" he asked me back. There was something in his voice that convinced me he wasn't playing dumb. Or maybe it was delusion again.

"She's so pretty, and she's also very kind... and she likes you," I mumble grudgingly.

"Hmm, maybe. I never paid attention," he murmured at my neck. "She's nowhere near as kind as you though. Not to the point where you visited patients in the infirmary... or offered candy to kids... tried to prevent bullying... or stood up to Brenner."

We both stopped talking for a bit. Him still propped up against me, trapping me in-between his body with no hope of escape unless he moved. I simmered under him, my thoughts whirling in my head.

"I never got to thank you for saving my life. Twice," I manage to squeak out.

Heavy footsteps began heading in our direction.

Peter chuckled. "You can thank me later. But right now, I need you to run as fast as you can to the empty stairway and get to any floor that's as far away from the basement as possible."

He began to pull himself away from me, and I couldn't help myself. It was almost like a reflex. I held on to his face, eager to preserve the distance we'd had just now.

I pulled his face to mine, the tips of our noses only inches apart. "What about you? And Eleven? Where will you go? Are you going to leave through the air duct with her?"

"Are you leaving me behind?" I didn't say it out loud, but I was praying to God he wasn't planning on leaving me here in this hellhole. Life here was already miserable. I couldn't fathom living on without him for the rest of my life at Hawkins Lab.

"We'll come after you soon," he reassured me, putting a hand on my face. "But for now, I just need you to worry about finding a safe place to hide. Then when the time comes, I'll know where to find you. Just trust me."

There was something about the way he said it that wiped away any possible doubt I had on my mind and gave me an absolute trust in him. So, without looking back, I let go of the one I cared for most, and ran straight toward the exit like our lives, now one, depended on it.