Dickheads

Oscar

So basically, Oscar, is a dickhead. That's why he's in this book, and in this chapter we get to see what he gets up to on a daily basis.

7:00am
'Fuck me backwards, I'm late'.

Oscar realised he would have to eat breakfast, get dressed and make himself presentable in a few minutes time. But he didn't have time for that. So he took a massive shit, got dressed, and walked to the bus stop with an empty stomache.

7:30am
The bus had finally arrived, and Oscar was greeted by the rest of the greasy bus kids.

'Alright drive, chuck us a cheeky day to go' said Oscar.

'Take the ticket you ugly cunt, sit at the back so I don't have to see your shitty face you fucking chav'

'Cheers drive'.

So after his lovely greeting he took his time, sauntering to the back of the bus. He sat next to three girls, the same three girls that are all over him everyday. So he took toms advice, and fingerbanged them, all three of them, at the back of the bus. Their flaps smelt like fish, and Oscar likes fish. So much that he actually nicked a cheeky bit of one of the girls bush, and got off the bus stop just outside of school and he was on his way.