It's Too Late To Love Me Back

Chapter 14

There was a tangible pain in Younes's expression.

I know he's in pain.. because I know this man's every detail, observing him had been my life's passion once.

Are the words I'm saying really hurting him?

"I'm different because I don't love you anymore".. did it really hurt him to hear that?

Because it hurts me too to admit it, isn't it painful to realize a huge beautiful part of one's self is forever lost?

Then again, he just accepts my words, and doesn't say a thing, whether it really hurt him to know I'm sincerely letting go of him or it didn't make any difference in his opinion I could never tell.. and sometimes.. his silence becomes very frustrating.

Actually Younes isn't a man of little words, he's very expressive when it comes to anything except for feelings, so it has always been so unfair to me to hear him say so much about everything then say nothing about what I needed to hear, at some point.. I realized he's either simply uninterested or he's willingly ignoring my pain, in both cases it was better for me to let go than to be hurt more.

unable to continue looking at him without getting angrier and more disappointed, I soon look away, at the painting of a very disproportionate girl smiling brightly.. and while I watch that careless unchanging smile I'm pained for some reason.

A little time later, the silent man I'm avoiding to look at finally walks away from me, just as calmly as he came to stand by my side. Which is quite rude of him if you ask my opinion, like there I was being generous to him, explaining my point of view respectfully, ignoring my pain and my insane desire to pull his hair and shout:

" You cold jerk! You rejected me! and now you come here showing me those sad eyes wanting to incite my empathy and make me come crowling towards you again!"

But I don't do that, out of respect, yet there he was showing up than disappearing at his own free will, making me regret not ignoring him from the get go.

I took a deep breath to calm myself once I was left alone, seriously a woman shouldn't burn her nerves over an undeserving man, I decided to continue faithfully watching the paintings on behalf of all the guests who didn't appreciate their loveliness, wanting to save as much as I could.

I guess it wasn't my genuine feelings towards the happy couple that made me love these paintings after all, I think I just developed a habit of overly empathizing with the neglected objects which sincerely showed unappreciated love, because I was one of those..

Samira finally joins me again, though she doesn't dare talk about Younes seeing how unwelcoming my expression was, she says however:

_" Madame Fatima have been waiting for you to come and join her, she's been here for a while now."

My second uncle's wife wants me to join her? how strange.. and bothersome.

You see, Aunt Fatima, namely Adem and Marwan's mother, have initially been one of the closest family members to me, she has always been the kindest to me despite being a cold woman in general, and encouraged her sons to treat me like a little sister thus the reason why despite those two being too different from me to have any type of accordance with me they are still the closest to me among all my cousins.

However, few years ago.. for a reason I never knew, aunt Fatima suddenly started to treat me more coldly, to the point where I couldn't even have a talk with her without her interrupting me and faking being too busy to have time to speak with me.