It's Too Late To Love Me Back

Chapter 24

The shelves full of Younes's books have been staring at me while I'm packing in preparation for our moving to the villa.. His books are there in front of me and are there on my mind all the time, I'm temped to go through them whenever I feel repulsed at my decision to go back to that place and those people, and I find myself reaching for them whenever I'm frightened at the thought of what is to come.

I know there were other letters for sure.. I'm certain of that, it was so Younes-like to vent all his grievances while writing letters for me which he knew I definitely won't read, he chose to write them in books which were the polar opposite of my interest for that purpose, never have I met someone who loved to tease the life out of me more than Younes Merabat did, it was one of his life's joys to see me flustered and frustrated, I guess that was his love language which I never had the chance to understand when the time was right.

There's no purpose in reading those letters now.. I know there isn't, it only adds to my misery, but there's a thirst in me that was urging to be quenched with those genuine words now that I'm questioning everything and everyone around me, believe me it's tortuously frightening to suddenly distrust and fear the malice of the people who once were my own shield and armor.. now that I know better I'm hell ready to run away with my money once the time is right, I have nothing and no one to stay behind for, but until that time comes I have to stay and persevere, and while I do that I'm finding myself almost begging for any type of emotional support, I'm just desperate that way.

Nonetheless, I didn't dare touch any other book, up until the very last moment as I dragged my suitcases and boxes out of my room and joined my family while we temporarily moved out of our house I haven't read a single letter except for the first one, I'm just fighting my desperation that way.

I refused to go in the same car with the rest of my family on our way to the villa, it was my last act of rebellion I guess, I stuffed all my suitcases and boxes in the trunk and on the back seats of my car, it was pointless to go alone.. but I just had no heart to be in the same space with my parents who still can't see any fault in what they did to me so far.

_" I'm here for the money." I whispered to myself the moment I parked my car outside the villa, I was trembling for various reasons and couldn't step out of my car, as I closed my eyes and took deep breaths I kept whispering the same words to calm my nerves and harden my heart.

_" I'm here for the @$%&$ money."

Curse words naturally emerged at some point.

Nonetheless, I haven't yet calmed my nerves when I suddenly heard tapping on the glass of my seat's window, when I turned my head to see who in hell was interrupting my much needed calming session I found Adem standing right outside looking at me with a shameless grin and signaling for me to let him in the passenger seat beside me.

As much as I hated the sight of my cousin I still needed some intel before stepping inside the villa and Adem is the best source of info from personal experience, he knows everything, I haven't been talking to my parents for days now so I only knew of what was happening inside the Majdan family through the press news and the gossip, if I were to go back to the battle field I hell needed to know what was going on first.

I let Adem come inside, he excitedly occupied the seat beside me and before long he blurted out with a joyful attitude: 

_" As much as I hate to admit it, but I really missed you dearest cousin though you don't seem so happy to see me."

_" ... "

_" After I saw the mess you made of my man Younes I was eager to see how the breakup affected you too, how is it that you look much better than he does? I never knew you had it in you to ruin a man, I underestimated__ "