The Unkillable Simp (Roblox Pressure fanfic)

Unkillable Guy

I woke up several times during my sleep to the entities rushing by, but besides that, I was all good in the sleep department. I yawned as I woke up, and I grabbed my head as I remembered the... events that happened.

"Fuck."

I got up and started looking around. My... suicidal thoughts were back. I found some rope, and then I started my plan. I tied a noose, hanged it on a hook attached to the wall, and tried hanging myself. I thought this was it. I prayed to God one last time, and then I dropped. The hook broke, and all I accomplished was falling onto my face.

"Gah. Ow."

I took off the noose and then hanged it from a cement piece of the room.

"Okay. For real this time."

I got on a table and dropped again. The rope snapped, and I fell to the floor again. 

"What the fuck!"

I found a flash beacon, took out the lightbulbs, and tried shooting myself full of electrical power. Nothing. Out of juice.

"I'm about to kill somebody if I find anyone."

I was working for hours on trying to kill myself. Anything I could find that could do anything to hurt me. I even found a fucking knife and tried stabbing myself in the stomach. It... it shattered! Against my stomach! I screamed in rage and then threw my diving tank off my back. As I did that, the shotgun shell in it shot off... late. I forgot all about it.

"I'm... why am I this unlucky?"

I then got out of the vent and stood outside of Sebastian's shop. I waited a while before going back in. That's when pandemonium flew by. I couldn't fucking die.

"Why!" 

I kicked a wall and then sat down. That's when I heard a weird noise.

"What's... that?"

Something then burst into the shop. Finally! Something that can...

"Oh... it's you."

It was Sebastian. I read his document at some point. He had left it in here after all.

"Well, I see you've made yourself right at home."

He looked around and saw the items from my failed suicides.

"This is a bit... interesting. I'm going to need the space back though. The blacksite has been locked down. No way to get out as far as I know. Now, I'd like you to gather your things and leave."

I sighed. That was probably for the best. I was a useless shit after all.

"Fine."

I stood up and started trying my best to shovel all of the research I found back into my pockets. That's when I heard Sebastian say something else.

"Is that... research you've found?"

"Yeah? I don't know if it's a lot to be honest."

"Well then... I'm willing to give you lodging if you hand over every piece of research you have. Maybe even help you escape with me once I've figured that out."

Escape... I'd have a better time dying if I found a way out of here.

"Fine. It's a deal."

Sebastian did his usual chuckle he did every time he made a deal and quickly picked everything up and put it out of my reach.

"Now, just sit in the corner over there. Don't annoy me as I think."

"Yes sir."

I took some blankets and two pillows and set myself up in the corner. I sat down, and quickly realized how boring it got once I wasn't trying to kill myself. I decided to stare at Sebastian. He was going through some documents, which probably had a map of this place in it. Hum. He was kind of handsome looking for an entity. I began to blush and make a dumb face at him. I didn't even realize it.

"Why are you... looking at me like that? Are you stupid or something?"

I quickly shook my head to get myself out of my weird look.

"I... zoned out for a second. I was thinking of stuff."

"Well if you're going to think about whatever you are thinking of, do it without making such weird faces at me. It's... uncomfortable."

He then looked away and back at his document. I supposed this was just my life for now. It was a few hours before Sebastian asked,

"I've been wondering what's with everything on the ground. It's been distracting my train of thought ever since I've noticed it."

I sighed. The question was bound to come up eventually.

"I... was trying to kill myself. I tried doing a noose, that didn't work. I tried electrocuting myself, and the flash beacon I was using was out of batteries. I tried a knife. It just... shattered. I threw my diving tank off, and the shotgun shell had stalled a bit before shooting. I had gotten it off by then. Finally, I tried having an entity kill me. I gave up, came inside, and then one went by."

Sebastian listened to this and then chuckled.

"Must mean you're a really lucky or unlucky guy."

I sighed.

"I guess... I'm just an unkillable guy."