Broken Ties (EN)

(2) Oxford University

Today is the day, the day I'm going to change cities, and lives too.

I woke up at 6:00 am to take a shower and those people who like to take long showers, who like to pay attention to detail and who like to feel pampered. I honestly didn't get much sleep, I woke up every half hour anxious about today.

I'm usually one of those people who takes a long time to do things, I like a good morning rant, but not today... I got up in a cartoon.

There are too many things on my mind, too many fears and uncertainties awaiting me. Even though I have everything packed and ready to go, I feel like I'm always leaving something behind, I'm not talking about family, I'm talking about connections, ties that bind me to this land.

I feel sloppy today, I'm wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of dungarees, I've got my hair up in a bun, I feel too relaxed physically, but I'm tormented inside.

I feel that everyone is looking at me with hope, at this big breakfast table, everyone is looking at me. They want me to be a Formosa cartoonist, they want to be valued, honored and above all that I have a good life. But on the other hand, they feel sorry for me, afraid that I won't adapt and that I'll return home. They know me well, they know that I'm a ticking time bomb, that I can give up everything at a moment's notice.

"- So, Roxy, do you know who your roommate is going to be?" - asks my aunt Gertrudes, who is the most gossipy person in the family, knows everyone's life, even the brother-in-law of her wife's daughter Alzira, who is her neighbor.

Gertrude being Gertrude... The typical aunt who likes to know everyone's life and has no control over her own. She likes to give her opinion and doesn't like it. She likes the limelight and attention. I'd say that in terms of affinity with me she's in the negative ranking, -100.

"- Or your colleague!" says Edward, who is my best friend, with the most mischievous smile on his lips.

Edward... Edward, always the same old geek. The typical boy who can't control his words, who likes to put poison in conversations to make me feel embarrassed in front of people. If he were different, I'd find it strange that he looks so much like his sister. Anna's the same, I think it runs in the family.

"- No. And Edward, on the campus I go to, boys don't sleep in the same room as girls," I say, confronting him.

"Too bad you'd always have a manly companion," he says, lowering his head to eat his yogurt and swallowing.

"- Edward!" my mother says in amazement at my best friend's language. Even though he's two years younger than me, he's still a wicked boy.

"What's wrong, Mom? Edward was just having a good sense of humor!" I say, defending him. He smiles at me sideways.

"- Mary, what's wrong with you?" says my aunt Oriana, who is the aunt I like best, I don't like to make distinctions, but I can get my problems off my chest with her. And Mary is my 15-year-old cousin, we're very close, we're like sisters. She must be suffering from my going to Oxford.

She doesn't answer, she gets up, turns her back and walks towards the kitchen.

"- I'm sorry," I say, getting up from my chair and going after my cousin.

"- Mary!" I say when I see her leaning against the sink crying. I hug her.

"- Why are you leaving?" she says through her tears.

"- Cousin has to study to be a famous artist, you see I can even see my work exhibited here in town." I tell her to calm down.

"- I'd like to go with you" - she says, wiping away her tears.