My Heart's Been Borrowed

Chapter 6: Down Bad

A/N: The moment you've all been waiting for...

JJ burns the note from Elle as soon as she gets home from work. She reads the note several times throughout the day, but the words just roll off of her, meaningless. She doesn't feel any more anger or sadness. She just feels numb. Technically, she's felt numb for a couple days now, ever since her tears finally stopped.

Most of the team was surprised and upset when Hotch informed them that Elle had resigned. She did her best to fake her own shock, but she still isn't sure how convincing she was. The rest of that day, JJ was on autopilot. She did paperwork, talked to some different police departments, and briefed Hotch on a few cases they could take next. At the end of the day, she snatched the letter from the drawer she'd shoved it in, drove home, and set it on fire in the sink so it would be easy to put out the flames.

JJ feels nothing as the paper turns into ashes. She feels nothing as she tosses Elle's clothes into a garbage bag. She feels nothing as she rips the photo of them that had been sitting on her nightstand for the past two months into shreds. She feels nothing as she eats dinner, takes a shower, and continues reading her book. She feels nothing as she lays out her outfit for the following day and drifts into a dreamless sleep.

Weeks pass in the same way. Wake up, work, sleep, repeat. She keeps herself busy, having stilted conversation with her friends, and even having her weekly girls' night with Garcia. She can tell her best friend is worried about her, but for some reason, she can't fully bring herself to care.

The only time JJ feels anything at all is when she's moving her body. The freedom she feels when she's running, her feet pounding the pavement and her lungs on fire is second to nothing except for maybe how alive she feels as she hits the punching bag in the gym again and again during her lunch breaks. She's proud of the muscle she's building and the endurance she's gained. No one can take that from her. She's content in her routine. She'd happily do this for the rest of her life if it means not thinking about the past year. Then one Monday morning, everything changes.

As per usual, JJ comes into work to find a mountain of paperwork on her desk, exactly where she'd left it the night before. She barely has time to crack one file open when her phone rings, the shrill sound startling in the quiet of her office.

"SSA Jennifer Jareau," she says briskly when she answers.

"Hi Agent Jareau, I contacted you about a case a couple weeks ago. It just got much worse; we really need your help..."

Once the officer has finished explaining the situation, she wholeheartedly agrees: this is a BAU case. She prints the files she just received and preps a quick presentation for the team. They'll need to leave asap, so she hurries toward Hotch's office to brief him first.

She typically just barges into his office when the door is cracked, but she hesitates when she hears an unfamiliar woman's voice. At first she can't make out the words, only that both Hotch and the mystery woman sound flustered.

When Hotch's voice becomes sharp rather than flustered, she knows it's her cue to intervene. She steps into the room, immediately taking in the woman in front of the desk. Dark hair, curled slightly, falls just past her shoulders. She's holding a box, but JJ can't quite tell what's inside. Her back is to the door, but she turns at the sound of JJ's voice, blinking curiously. "Excuse me. We're getting started." JJ only has time to take in curious brown eyes and perfect lips before she turns around, heart pounding. She takes a deep breath in through her nose, out through her mouth. Beautiful women should not be affecting her like this. Not anymore.

"Who was that?" JJ asks as soon as Hotch joins her in the hallway.

"Someone who ended up in the wrong department." His tone offers no room for further discussion, so JJ nods, and they walk the rest of the way in silence.