My Heart's Been Borrowed

Chapter 11: Getaway Car

A/N: Y'all are going to be mad at me for this one. Just keep reading, trust me.

JJ can tell Emily is a little bit worried when she declines to spend Saturday with her. She comes up with an excuse about needing to run errands and get some cleaning done. She's surprised Emily doesn't just show up at her apartment when she chooses to sleep at her own place alone for the second night in a row.

She debates whether or not she can get away with not seeing her Sunday either, but she decides that will raise too much suspicion and far too many questions that she doesn't know how to answer yet. So, she calls Penelope and invites her out for a girls' day before doing the same with Emily.

JJ turns down an offer from both women to pick her up to drive her to lunch. She doesn't want Emily to have a reason to insist they spend alone time together tonight. Spending time alone with Emily is everything she wants and everything she can't let herself have. It could only end in heartbreak for the both of them.

Every time JJ closes her eyes, all she can see is Emily's kiss-swollen lips and goofy grin. All she can hear, though, is the disgust in her mother's voice over the phone. It's tearing her apart. She can't disappoint her mother, not when JJ is all she has left. Well, a version of JJ. Because if she's being honest, Sandy Jareau doesn't want the person JJ actually is. She wants a perfect, idolized version who is everything she should be and everything Ros could never be.

JJ swipes away a tear making its way down her face as she puts her hair into a low ponytail and gets dressed. She makes the mistake of looking in the mirror and seeing the pain and sadness she's been keeping at bay shining out through her blue eyes.

"You are going to be a good daughter. You are going to do what it takes to make sure the people you love are happy," she says to her reflection. "You'll only end up hurting Emily if anything else happens between you. You've always been especially good at hurting people. Don't do that this time. There's too much at stake." She nods, squaring her shoulders before walking out of the bathroom and out to her car.

The drive to their favorite Mexican restaurant is fairly short, but JJ blasts her music so loudly she's almost afraid she'll have hearing damage by the time she gets there. It's worth it if it means she can tune out the thoughts threatening to drown her.

A wave of relief crashes through her when she pulls up to find her best friend already parked and leaning against her car. "There's my favorite blonde beauty," Penelope calls as soon as JJ closes her car door behind her.

"There's my favorite person in the world!" JJ greets, rushing toward the other woman. She throws her arms around her neck and squeezes her tightly. Penelope doesn't hesitate to hug JJ back just as fiercely.

"Everything okay, my peach?" she asks when JJ pulls away after nearly a full minute.

"Yeah. I just didn't realize how much I needed to hug my best friend." It's the truth, even if JJ is leaving out the why.

"Well, I'm always happy to be of service there. Shall we grab a table? I'm not sure if you saw it since you were driving, but Emily texted our group chat to let us know she'd be late." JJ nods, and Penelope links her arm through JJ's and leads the way into the dimly lit restaurant. "Table for three please!" she says before the hostess can even ask.

They're led to a booth towards the back of the main room, and Penelope gestures for JJ to take the side facing the door. "Something wrong with this side?" JJ asks with a laugh as she slides across the seat.

"No, but Emily always likes to face the door."

"You didn't want to sit with her?" JJ's voice is sharper than she intended, and she closes her eyes, preparing for the questions her best friend is definitely about to ask.