Fallen World

Chapter 2

TW: abuse

As we were walking home, it was awfully quiet. Not even a single car passed to break the silence. We had nearly arrived home when my father started talking.
" You killed her, didn't you?" he asked me even though I wasn't guilty.

I didn't answer him. I knew my dad was not the most supportive parent but not like that. Believing that I had committed the crime, made feel betrayed. When we arrived home, my father asked me again.

''You killed her, didn't you? Why?'' he asked again as he was sure I did it.
''Why are you so sure I did it? She committed suicide and I also told it to the cops." I replied with a tone of anger in my voice.
"Why would she?" father continued with confusion.
"Of course! Why would you know? You were never fucking here! And even when you where, what did you do? You gaslighted as, saw only our failures and... and...".

I was not ready to mention the last one. It was just... hard for me, and it would be even harder for Leila. Our father kind of... abused my sister once. She was fine after that physically. It wasn't a very easy thing to think, not to mention talk about. My mother was not present that day and didn't believe a thing we said, so she never sent Leila to therapy as we asked her to.

And generally, I think it's quite obvious, that my relationship with my parents isn't the best of the best. My father was always absent but when he was home, he made my life a living hell because I didn't get straight A+ as Leila and my mom in the argument me and my father had she always tried to stay neutral and calm the spirits, but she ended up taking my father's side. Now you might wonder why do I call him father and not dad or something. To be honest I never felt like he was my parent. I am on the verge of calling him by his name. And not to disagree with him because when he was angry he would either punch us or slap us and I had to learn that the hard way. One time, I got a B at geography, my least favourite lesson, and when he was calling me names and comparing me to Leila I told him that it was not my fault I didn't remember the capital of Slovakia and before I could even react he slapped me so hard I fell on the floor. But this time I wasn't afraid of him. I knew Leila had committed suicide and I didn't care if I ended up in the ER.

"I tried to prepare you for the harsh reality we live in. And this made you stronger." He said raising his voice slightly, which was even worse than yelling.
"I was a child! I didn't need to be strong I needed to be protected!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and stormed out of the living room.

I went in my room and locked the door. I wish the door would knock any minute and it would be Leila. But there was no chance this would happen. And then for the first time in years, I cried. I cried so hard that my mum came and asked me if everything was alright. I didn't answer. I didn't wanna talk to her or anyone.