Reunited Paths: A Father's Journey (Harvey Specter ff)

Harvey's Silent Struggle

Harvey had taken the long way home after the funeral. He knew that his family would be waiting for him but he just wanted to be alone for a few minutes. The drive had allowed him a chance to process his thoughts and emotions. When he arrived, he found Marcus sitting with Mike on the sofa. Mike was laughing and Marcus had been smiling, Harvey saw Mike's face lit up with a rare moment of joy. He wasn't sure he ever saw Mike so happy. He felt a pang in the pit of his stomach. From a distance it looked like Marcus could be Mike's dad. The way they interacted, so naturally and comfortably, highlighted the bond they were quickly forming.

He quietly hung up his coat and stood in the doorway, observing the scene.Harvey watched as Marcus playfully ruffled Mike's hair, eliciting another laugh from his son. It was a bittersweet moment for Harvey, who was grateful for his brother's support but couldn't help feeling a bit sidelined. He wondered if he would ever be able to connect with Mike in the same way.

Marcus looked up and gave him a nod, but the smile faded slightly when he saw the pain in Harvey's eyes. Mike, still laughing, didn't notice his father's sorrow. Harvey made his way to the sofa, and sat down next to them, feeling a deep pang of loneliness despite their presence. The weight of the day's events pressing down on him.

Harvey tried to focus on the conversation, but his mind kept drifting back to the funeral. He couldn't forget Mike's outburst at the funeral, his son had yelled in anger, unable to contain his emotions. The room had fallen silent, and Harvey had felt the sting of his son's words cut through the air. Now, sitting here, he looked at Mike, trying to understand the source of his frustration. He knew that Mike was upset and angry that his mom was gone, but Harvey understood the emotions that came with grieving.
He glanced at Marcus, who seemed so at ease with Mike, and a wave of jealousy washed over him. It was as if Marcus had stepped into a role that Harvey felt he was failing at.

A short while later, Marcus got up stating that it was getting late and he had to drive back to the hotel room in order to get everything squared away for the early morning checkout. Mike gave him a hug, saying goodbye. Mike added that he was really looking forward to hanging out with Marcus again soon, clearly enjoying his uncle's company. Harvey gave Marcus a hug, feeling both grateful and a bit sad. Before Marcus left, Harvey told him he should visit them soon, wanting to keep the family close during these tough times.

Harvey slipped outside, a part of him hoped to catch Marcus for long enough to talk to him privately. He debating asking Marcus for advice, Mike had seemed so comfortable with Marcus. He didn't know why he was trying so hard but Mike was still shutting him out. Harvey didn't want to admit defeat, but he was failing miserably.

He wasn't a quitter but he would be kidding himself if the said hadn't thought about it.

Before Harvey could ask his brother for advice, Marcus began, "Look, Harvey, I know it's tough, but give him some time. He's going through a lot and he needs to sort things out in his head. Just keep being there for him, even if he doesn't seem to notice. Sometimes, just knowing that  you're there, ready to listen when he's ready to talk, makes all the difference. Remember, being a good dad isn't about having all the answers—it's about being a steady presence in his life. Trust me, he'll come around."

Harvey sighed. "I hope you're right. I just want to be a good dad for Mike." Harvey stumbled over the word "dad", despite the fact that Mike had said it a few times, the word felt foreign. Harvey began again, "I know he's struggling and I'm already trying by best but nothing ever seems good enough." He let out a small shaky breath. "I'm trying so hard Marcus."

"You're already doing a great job," Marcus said firmly.
Harvey nodded, feeling a bit more hopeful. He wanted to thank Marcus but the words were stuck in his throat. He have his brother a small hug, patting him on the back.

"Anytime, Harvey. We'll talk soon," Marcus replied, giving Harvey a supportive smile.

When Harvey walked back inside, Mike had already retreated back to his room. He slammed his bedroom door. Harvey heard the click of the lock. Maybe Marcus was right, maybe this was Mike's way of coping with loss. If space is what the kid wanted, space is what Harvey would give him.

Harvey sat down on the sofa, his head in his hands. He let out a sigh. He hoped that this would get easier. He was hoping the Mike would want to talk about what happened. He wished Nina was here to tell him what to do, She was good at getting him out of head. His was on the verge of a sob, but he didn't know who to cry out to. 

He felt helplessness. He felt so lost. He didn't know what to do. Marcus had made everything sound so easy. Just give him space. What if he was making things worse by not doing anything? Did Mike feel like he was ignoring him? Did he want space? Would give him too much space just make them grow further apart. The uncertainty was gnawing at him. He truly didn't know what to do. Would he even be a good father to Mike, surely Mike deserved better than Harvey.

He had lost track of time, he was staring at the ground, looking up every few moments, hoping that Mike would come out of his room. His thoughts kept drifting to Nina, she always knew what to do. Harvey had hoped he could find and channel her wisdom from somewhere.

In between glances, Harvey thought about the times when Mike was younger, how they used to play together and laugh. He missed those days and hoped that they could find a way back to that closeness. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he was determined to keep trying, for the sake of his relationship with Mike.

But for the time being, he would try to be patient with Mike. Patience was not something Harvey was good at but he would try, just for Mike. Maybe one day Mike would let Harvey into his world and trust Harvey with parts of his life that he kept private.
Emotionally exhausted, Harvey fell asleep on the couch still wearing his suit from the funeral. His back and neck would hate him tomorrow but for now he couldn't will his body to move to his bed. Somewhere around three in the morning, Harvey woke up to the squeak of Mike's door. He let out a groggy, "Mike."
Mike looked up at him, "just getting water", he grumbled walking to the kitchen. Harvey sighed in defeat, he wasn't getting any answers out of Mike tonight.

Harvey heard Mike's bed room slam indicating that it was closed. Harvey would just have to try again later.