Reunited Paths: A Father's Journey (Harvey Specter ff)

Echos of Regret Part 2

The exhaustion from all the crying had lulled Mike to sleep. He was curled up in a ball laying on top of the covers, his chest rising and falling as small snores escaped. His cheeks were tear streaked, but in the quiet of his room, he looked peaceful. Except Harvey didn't know that, Mike had locked the door almost as soon as he entered it.

Harvey was seated on the sofa, every so often his eyes would wander to his son's bedroom door, hoping that Mike would appear. He felt absolutely awful for forgetting his son on his first day of school. Harvey had gotten the spare key to the bedroom from his kitchen drawer, he twiddled the key in his hand almost as if he was debating actually using it. He closed his eyes for a moment, he pictured Nina reaching out and placing a hand on the key. A sign that he should give Mike the space he needs.
He hoped that Mike would come around with time, but it felt like he was finding different ways to screw everything up.

Harvey wasn't sure what time it was; he had accidentally fallen asleep on the sofa. He felt the pulsating pain in his neck and moved his hands to rub it, only to be met with a stiff back. He let out a groan, trying to piece together how he ended up there. He glanced towards Mike's room and noticed the door was cracked open. Harvey's heart skipped a beat. Maybe, just maybe, Mike was ready to talk. He slowly got up, every muscle in his body protesting, and noticed he was covered with a blanket he didn't remember putting on himself. It must have been Mike, he thought. With a mix of hope and caution, he made his way to the door and gently calling out to his son before pushing it open a bit more, and peeking inside to see if Mike was awake. But the room was empty; he couldn't find Mike. The bed was neatly made, and there was no sign of him.

Harvey's mind started moving a mile a minute, he was racking his brain trying to figure out where his son had gone. Harvey accounted for Mike's belongings, while there was only a limited list of things Mike had moved in with, it was all here.
Harvey very well couldn't call the school, it was Tuesday morning. He feared that the phone call to the school would trigger a visit from CPS and they would realize that Harvey was an unfit
guardian despite his efforts. He looked around for Mike's school bag and realized that it was right where it was thrown yesterday.

He quickly made his way through the condo, opening all the doors and flipping on all the lights searching for Mike. With each and every room being searched, he grew more and more panicked. 
Harvey's breathing became shallow and rapid as the panic set in. His chest tightened, and he felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. His hands began to tremble uncontrollably, and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest like a drum. The room seemed to close in around him, and his vision blurred at the edges. He clutched at his shirt, trying to catch his breath, but it felt like he was suffocating. Thoughts raced through his mind, each one more terrifying than the last. He stumbled to the nearest chair and collapsed into it, his body shaking violently. He felt utterly helpless, consumed by fear and anxiety, unable to think clearly or move.

He did the only thing he could think of. His fingers frantically typing the number he had committed to memory. He placed the phone on speaker and spoke urgently, "Donna, I can't find Mike."
Harvey had spent the next few hours waiting for Donna and trying to calm himself down. He started by focusing on his breathing, paying close attention to the rise and fall of his chest like he had done before.

When that didn't help, Harvey tried pacing back and forth, hoping the movement would help burn off some of the nervous energy. He tried taking deep breaths, counting to ten, and even splashing cold water on his face, but nothing seemed to work. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Mike's face, and the fear that something terrible had happened to him just wouldn't go away.

He was trying to focus his energy on convincing himself that Mike couldn't have just run away. The kid was too smart for that. It just didn't make sense. Mike wouldn't do that. There had to be another explanation, something he was missing. Mike was just gonna walk back inside like nothing happened.

The bubble of anxiety started forming in his stomach again, he was so frustrated, so scared. Where was Mike? Why did he leave without leaving a note? How could Mike be so careless, and just walk out in the middle of the night? What if something terrible happened to him? The thoughts swirled in his mind, each one more terrifying than the last. He couldn't shake the image of Mike alone and vulnerable, out there somewhere, possibly in danger. The uncertainty gnawed at him, making it hard to breathe. He felt helpless, desperate to find Mike and bring him back to safety. He was beside himself, he didn't know what he should do.

He wanted to call the police, ask if they saw him. Run out and go look for him. He wanted to do something but he wasn't sure what. He felt so helpless, what kind of parent didn't know where their kid would run off to? The guilt was eating him alive; he should have noticed the signs, should have been more attentive. The fear of the unknown was paralyzing. He imagined Mike's face, scared and alone, and it broke his heart. Every second that passed felt like an eternity, and the weight of his own inadequacy as a parent crushed him. He needed to find Mike, to make sure he was safe, to tell him he was sorry for not being there when he needed him the most.

His thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door. His head jerked toward the sound, his eyes scanning and waiting in anticipation for the person to walk inside. He didn't know if he blinked, waiting for whoever it was to step into the light.

The seconds felt like hours as he held his breath. When Mike finally stepped into view, a wave of relief washed over Harvey. But it was quickly followed by a flood of questions and emotions. Where had Mike been? Why did he leave without saying anything? Harvey wanted to rush over, hug him, and make sure he was okay, but he also felt a surge of anger and frustration.

"Mike, where have you been?" Harvey's voice was a mix of relief and exasperation. "You had me worried sick."