Sincerely, Jayvee

09

It was a Friday evening in April.

We had hangouts together with our childhood friends, and somehow, that night ended with just the two of us in my car.

"So... you have someone you like," you said, breaking the silence.

It was not a question. You said it like you already knew the answer.

"Like... is an understatement." I managed to replied, even a thousand thoughts colliding inside me.

Damn. How much had you heard when our friends teased me about the feelings I'd been keeping for so long.

They all knew.

"Whoah, whoah... the one and only Jayvee Martinez is really in love!" you exclaimed, like you just caught me. "Finally!"

Everyone knew, except you.

"Nag-confess ka na?"

"Kayo na?"

You suddenly bombarded me with questions, as you continued teasing me. Amid how loud you were, I caught myself glancing at you.

You never noticed, not even once, the way my eyes looked at you.

I smiled and said, "...liligawan pa lang."

"So, who's this lucky girl?" you asked.

Should I tell you now?

No. Too soon.

Not yet.

Damn it.

"I... I like-" I stopped mid-sentence. "Shit, okay ka lang?"

"Ugh... wait, I think I'm gonna-"

I quickly pulled over, and you stumbled out of the car and throw up by the side of the road.

I thought, this isn't the right time... and you're drunk.

After that, you slumped back into the seat, and I let you sleep for the rest of the ride... like nothing had happened.

"Summer-"

My lips curved in a small smile seeing you still peacefully sleeping, head leaning slightly toward the window.

"That someone I like... is you." I whispered silently.

It's you, Summer.

It's always been you.

I take that a chance to look at you up close, memorizing every details of your face under the dim streetlights.

Just five minutes... or just a minute.

"Andito na pala tayo," you murmured when you woke up. "Ba't di mo 'ko ginising?"

I chuckled. "Tulog na tulog ka e."

We stepped out of the car. I opened my mouth...

"Summer..." I called you.

You called him, "Allen."

My brother's name.

I can hear happiness spilling in your voice after seeing him again.

"Mauna na ako."

I bid my goodbye and left.

And just like that... I let go.

I gave up.

Because timing is a cruel season. And like April rain, it comes and goes too soon.

But what if I confessed, even if I knew your heart beats only his name?