Letting Go| An Unrequited Love Story

Saayra & Abhay | Chapter 15

Morning 7:00am

It was still dark in the room when Abhay woke up. His head was feeling heavy due to his drinking last night. He was not able to recollect his yesterday's deeds. Abhay turns around too see the other side of the bed only to find it empty

"Ye kaha chali gayi itni subah subah" Abhay thinks.

Abhay gets up from his bed only to notice that he is naked. Shock ripples through his body when a sudden flash of memories pass inside his head. He remembers coming home drunk, all the conversation he had with his friends, all the impact of alcohol on his mind and thoughts and the horrific deed he did last night. It all starts coming back. He immediately wears his shorts and T-shirt and goes out to look for Saayra. He finds her serving breakfast to his mother while holding Eshaan on her hip. Her face was dull with dark circles around her eyes. She was wearing a dupatta around her neck and a kurta with full sleeves. Abhay couldn't muster courage to go forward and call her. He had never felt so ashamed of himself. Abhay never thought he could stoop so low and force his own wife. Was alcohol the only reason for his deeds last night? Or was it something deeper that led him to do this shameful deed.
Taking a deep breath Abhay comes forward and calls Saayra.

"Saayra jara andar ana please , ek kaam hain"

" Abhi nahi aa sakti. Eshaan ko khana khilana hain" says Saayra without looking at him.

" Vo maa khila degi. Please urgent kaam hain"

" Haan Saayra jao me khila dungi Eshaan ko" says Anita (Abhay's Mom)

Giving Eshaan to Anita, Saayra walks towards their bedroom in a slow pace. Pain in her legs hadn't subsided due to his yesterday's deeds.

Abhay's closed their bedroom door and stands in front of Saayra.

" Saayra muzhey maaf...
Before Abhay could complete his sentence Saayra slaps him hard on his cheek.

" Apni zabaan se maafi ye lafz aapne nikala toh muzhse bura koi nahi hoga. Kal raat jo apne kiya hain vo maafi ka haqdar nahi hain" says Saayra with tears in her eyes

Ashamed Abhay keeps looking down in guilt as he knew nothing that he could say would fix his deeds from last night.

"Muzhey humesha lagta tha k aap agar muzhse patni ka haq cheen sakte hain toh uske badle kam se kam aap meri izzat karte hain. Vo mere liye kafi tha. Par aapne kal vo bhi cheen liya muzhse."

Saayra says while clutching her hair and crying.

Abhay tries to grab her hand to apologise. But she jerks her hand away from his hold.

" Saayra, I am sorry, muzhey maaf kardo. I know me tumhari maafi k qabil nahi hu. Muzhey khud yaqeen nahi ho raha k me aisa kar sakta hu. Aisa pehli baar nahi hua hain k mene sharab itni pee hain. Pehle kai dafa party me mene itni sharab pee hain par aisa control kabhi nahi khoya. Please muzhey maaf kardo." Abhay pleads with guilty face.

"Agar tum chaho toh muzhse talaq le lo. Me samjh sakta hun k ab tumhe mere jese aadmi k sath rehne me koi interest nahi hoga. Muzhey bas maaf kardo" says Abhay.

"Apko yaad hain kal kya kya hua?" Asks Saayra

"Muzhey bas bits and pieces yaad hain kal raat k. Muzhey ghar ana yaad hain or muzhey yaad h forcing myself on you jab tum resist kar rahi thi. Bas itna." Say Abhay ashamedly.

" Kal raat jab aap mere qareeb ae jese ek pati apni patni k qareeb ata hain tab muzhey laga apne ye rishta apna liya hain ya phir aap apke past se move on ho gaye ho. Kal raat meri marzi thi sex k liye fer aapne 'Ayesha' ka naam bol dia us waqt. Me woh humiliation seh nahi payi or isiliye mene apko roka" Saayra says with hint of anger and tears in her eyes.

Abhay's eyes widen in disbelief  he was not able to belief that he said Ayesha's name while getting intimate with her. He regretted his yesterday's actions as he felt like he cheated on Ayesha. He starts remembering that how he imagined Saayra as Ayesha under the influence of alcohol. He felt as if his Ayesha was back with him.

" Mera pati uski pehli biwi ka photo gale laga kar soota hain har raat, uski wajah se apni dusri biwi ko kabhi uske haq nahi diye na kabhi dhang se baat ki uske sath ,ye sab mene seh liya Abhay lekin muzhey is baat ka dard hain k shadi k itne saal baad mera pati mere paas pehli baar ata hain ye samjh kar k me uski mari hui biwi hu. Or mere sath zor zabardasti karta hain ye samjhkar k me uski Mari hui biwi hu. Abhay bloody move on from her. Vo Wapis nahi ane wali hain kabhi vo mar gayi hain, SHE IS BLOOODY DEAD." She screams with tears in her eyes while taking out all her pent up frustration.

Mention of his first wife in this manner angers Abhay he grabs Saayra's arms and pulls her towards him " Apni zaban sambhal k baat karo. Mene tumhe shadi se pehle bataya tha k ye kesa rishta hone wala hain. Tumne sab jaan k shadi ki hain muzhse. Me kabhi move on nahi ho sakta meri Ayesha se. Vo mera pehla or akhri pyar hain. Mene jo tumhare sath kia uske liye muzhey behad afsoos hain or me tum jo bologi vo saza sehne k liye tayar hu lekin aenda Ayesha k khilaf kuch bola toh zaban kaat dunga." Says Abhay staring angrily in Saayra's eyes.

He pushes her and storms out of their bedroom.

Author Note
I know i have been AWOL since Feb but i am not finding any time to write this story or rather i would say motivation. I will try to update more often. Mostly this story will end in next 6-7 Chapters.