Behind The Lens

TWENTY

  "Hey, I hope I'm not disturbing you," Joost said softly, his eyes searching mine for a sign of approval.

  I blinked, trying to process his unexpected visit. I had to act unbothered, not that the tears I wasted 3 hours ago weren't visible to him too.

  "I didn't expect to see you," I stammered, my voice tinged with unexpected weariness.

  Joost smiled awkwardly, his expression being so gentle and kind. "I know it's early, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night."

  Last night. The memory of our kiss flooded back to me, overwhelming me with a mix of emotions. I felt a surge of warmth at Joost's concern, but also a wave of doubt and fear.

  Did he really care about me or was he just trying to ease his guilt? Was I just a distraction from his own pain, or did he genuinely want to be there for me?

  My mind raced with questions as I tried to make sense of Joost's presence. I felt torn between the comfort of his company and the uncertainty of his motives.

  "How did you even know I live here?"

  "The contract had your address on It. I came as soon as I could."

  In that moment, I realized that maybe it was okay not to have all the answers. Maybe it was okay to let go of my overthinking and just be in the moment, to embrace the unknown and the possibility of something new.

  "Thank you for checking up on me."

  Joost's smile grew wider, his eyes sparkling with relief. "I care about you, Jazmin. And I want to be there for you, if you'll let me."

  Although I wanted a new beginning, a new start, I was so unsure. I only knew him for maybe 6 months, I couldn't possibly love him? I really just didn't want to be in the same situation I was with Davis. And I knew I would've hated myself knowing I'll hurt such a pure man.

  "Let me take you out tonight, it seems like you need some rest for now," he said almost staring into my eyes, probably noticing my eyebags. He felt visibly disappointed by my silence, but still kept his smile on. One thing I knew for sure was that silence hurt the most, so I just nodded gently.

  Joost stepped closer to me. He slowly opened his arms, almost like reading my mind. All I wanted was a hug. Hugs were something I loved and that always helped when I was down. "Be ready at 8, please take care until then," he mumbled. It weirdly felt like music to my ears.