𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐌𝐄

─ ❝ act xxxviii ❞

⎡ act xxxviii - connection ⎦

┊❝ I don't want to lose you ❞┊

── "(Y/N)?" Sawyer blinked in confusion upon opening his door to see (Y/N) standing on his porch. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

Slowly, (Y/N) lifted her head at Sawyer's voice and met his soft brown eyes brimming with both confusion, happiness, and concern all mixed up that both puzzled her and filled her with relief. After the last time she had very promptly and deliberately told him and the rest of her once friends that she wanted nothing to do with them, she assumed she would be only met with disdain.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

Then again, considering right after school she had raced out of the building to avoid anymore interactions with Ian and Dylan and sought refuge in Sawyer's presence after obtaining his address from Shariah, it would only be natural for someone to be worried. After all, seeing someone show up at your doorstep, much less someone like (Y/N) who was known to be preyed upon, it was enough to make anyone start asking questions.

Opening her mouth to speak, (Y/N) found that she couldn't, since she had no excuses.

Instead, all she did was exhale softly.

Sawyer, noticing the guilt-ridden look painted across her expression, said nothing as he quietly beckoned her inside to sit on the living room couch. Sitting beside her, he didn't speak for several moments, and in all honesty, to both of them, their silence spoke more than words ever could.

They were comfortable with each other.

With that comfort, sometimes, words didn't have to be exchanged to get a feeling across.

It was only when Sawyer breathed in deeply did (Y/N) know that he was ready to speak, glancing over at him to see he seemed to be mulling over what to say, as if he also wasn't sure of what to speak with her about in that moment. When he met her gaze, when he saw a type of defeat cresting the soft (E/C) hues, he found his own eyes softening. There was warmth in both his expression and his actions as he merely leaned forward and engulfed her in a hug.

(Y/N) didn't hesitate to embrace him back.

"I don't want to lose you, (Y/N)," Sawyer started with a soft tone, his voice reverberating in his throat with said vibrations rumbling in his chest, something (Y/N) could feel. "But, it's obvious me, Shariah, Alina, and Kira will get hurt if we stay beside you. And... I know that will hurt you, too, considering your actions." Pulling away, letting his hands fall from her shoulders despite how he wished to still hold her close, he murmured, "Whatever you need to do, we'll support you and let you do it by stepping back. But... if you need help, you can come to m— to us. We'll always help."

"...thank you," (Y/N) chuckled softly, a sudden rush of emotions overcoming her that she was already beginning to feel tears build up in her eyes.

I think... this is the first time in my life someone's stood beside me like this.

Not my father...

Not even mom...

No one.

Maybe that's why I came here in the first place instead of just going home.

"Hey," Sawyer caught her attention once more as he gave her a bright, reassuring smile that stole her breath away. "You've got this. Don't let Dylan, Ian, Carmen, or anyone else make you think otherwise. You're stronger than you know."

"When you say it like that, I guess so," she laughed, rubbing her eyes as she did so.

Sawyer laughed along with her, but as he gazed down at the girl whose soul he knew to be resilient even against the thrashing winds that tried to knock her down, he meant every word. Sure, he felt he was being a little cheesy, but he knew that (Y/N) needed to hear those exact words—and, he wanted to say them to her as well.

He liked (Y/N).

She was a good friend.

Overall, she was just a good person.

He assumed it was probably the very reason why he felt so close to her when it was quite hard for him to become friendly with someone so quickly.

He just knew.

"Anyways... if I can know... have they been especially hard on you as of late?" Sawyer broached the subject cautiously and lightly whilst drawing clear boundary lines if need be, awkwardly rubbing his palms down his thighs as he stared hard at the carpeted floor. "I've just been hearing that Dylan and Ian have been very... obsessive, as of late."

"They..." (Y/N) swallowed, wondering if she could even tell him about the kiss Dylan forced on her.

Just the thought made her shudder.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Sawyer reminded her, clearly looking worried about pressing her farther than she was comfortable with. "I just worry, that's all. And... I don't want them doing anything bad to you."

"Hah..." she faced a dry laugh at that, slowly shaking her head. "It's too late for that."

"What?" Sawyer froze. "What did they do?"

(Y/N) didn't move for a solid five seconds before she slowly pulled back the long sleeve of her shirt to reveal the four cigarette burns Carmen had left on her flesh. The moment Sawyer took in such a sight, his absolute heartbreak was reflected clearly in his eyes and in the way his lips parted in horror. Ashamed, she just as quickly hid her scars away from him and looked away, finding herself unable to meet his eyes.

Sawyer didn't know what to say.

What words could he proclaim that would ever ease her of the burden of such memories?

Nothing could.

Yet, that made him hurt all the more.

"If they've done something as sickening as that, it's likely there's more that you're not telling me," Sawyer mumbled as his fingers curled into fists at his sides, the veins in his arms prominent against his lean, taut muscles. "That's okay. I don't need to be explicitly informed to know." Flicking his eyes back down to meet hers, he continued with a rather biting edge to his tone, "(Y/N). The more they want and do, the more they'll take and hurt. You need to be prepared for that. ...are you?"

(Y/N) let out a slow sigh as she ran her hand down her covered burns, her eyes lidding.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "I'll be okay."

__________________________________

To be continued...