I love you, I'm sorry - G.W

Unsteady

"People freak me out"

Ever since I had asked Flora out I felt on top of the world. The ultimate high I felt after she said yes was unmatched. Yes, it was fake. But it tugged at my heartstrings in a certain way. I wanted it to be real. It had been too long since I'd felt the warmth and comfort of a relationship.

It wasn't the actual situation I craved, rather the connotations. Being wanted by someone. Accepted. Loved.

These thoughts spurred the intense need to prove to Angelina how she could be that to me. How I could be wanted because Godric knows I want her. I always have.

My plan was to simply be desirable, gentlemanly. Be the perfect fake-boyfriend to prove to my future girlfriend what she's missing out on.

So, this morning, I waited and walked with Flora from the Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall as usual. But as she turns to leave, heading to the Ravenclaw table, I pull her with me. Together we make our way to the Gryffindor table.

Proudly, I sit amongst my friends, dragging her down with me. We tightly squeeze between Alicia and Lee. My friends try to hide their startled expressions but I can tell. I just hope Flora can't, I know how easy she gets in her own head about these things.

Despite their confusion, they still give her welcoming smiles which she weakly returns. No doubt silently cursing me out for pouring more unwanted attention on her. I think it makes it worse at Angelina's next comment.

"No offence, but where's this sudden house pride been for the last 6 years?" Angelina's always been one for house pride, determined to make Quidditch captain and always showing up for our house no matter what. It's been something that's enticed me in the past but currently, I couldn't help but resent that.

I knew how this could make Flora feel. I was pushing her far from her comfort zone enough as it is, I dreaded to think how this type of comment would affect her too.

I was right, to some extent. Her hand went up to that delicate gold necklace and that familiar redness began to poison her cheeks. To save her from the stuttering mess she was to become, I spoke first.

"No offence, Angie, but she's my girlfriend so she can sit here if she bloody likes."

Angelina mutters an apology as she ducks her head to focus on her cereal. I too, want to apologise but shake my head. No, it was the right thing. Fred, sitting on her left, gives the three of us amused grins.

I try give him a look to tell him to 'shut-the-bloody-hell-up' which he sees but insteads laughs at me. From under the table, I manoeuvre my leg to his and promptly stamp down. This elicits a pained grunt from him but I turn my attention to the brunette girl on my right, ignoring the bastard.

I smile brightly at her, too brightly maybe, and tone it down. Searching her eyes for any signs of discomfort, I find none. Or she can hide it well. Based on the way her hand is laying limply at her side and not attached to her chain, I take it as a sign. I feel proud of myself, I have already begun my mission of the picturesque boyfriend. Cursing myself that it had to come at Angelina's expense.

Alicia breaks the tension however, asking questions directly to Flora. The rest of breakfast is spent like this. Each of my friends doubled their efforts to make her feel included. Even Angelina, which still doesn't make up for her comment earlier.

Flora was perhaps the sweetest girl I'd met. Hidden beneath a shell which contained soft laughter and wonderful conversations. Her obscure love and passion for Astronomy was beguiling. I yearned to know more about her. Another mission for this endless relationship of lies.