Dear diary- I thought I was happy

1. I'm a real tough kid

Carly had always been such a happy child. She was the most bubbly, positive, and smiley person in the room and would always give the best advice in the worst situations. Secretly, she had a darkside that followed her around daily. As far as everyone was aware, everything was amazing at home. In their eyes,  Carly had the best parents who loved and supported her through everything she did, but deep down, there was a dark truth.

At work, Carly always put up the best front for the children and her colleagues, well lets be honest it was the few hours a day that she was free from the hold that her parents had over her. She was free to be herself, but deep down, Carly knew that she couldn't let her guard down completely.

Deep down, Carly wished someone would notice that she was at breaking point, but everyone just saw the happy bubbly teenager, and that was it. Nobody saw past her fake smiles. Nothing more. In their eyes, Carly always was that happy, free teenager who had love and support no matter what.

As the weeks ticked by, hinding her feelings, it got harder and harder. Carly was losing the energy to hide it from the world. She had started going for walks to clear head on her lunch breaks, snapping at parents and shutting down conversations. Carly just didn't want to make polite conversation anymore. Charlotte noticed the change in her friend and had started to get suspicious. Charlotte, being the good friend that she is, started to keep a closer eye on her friend.

Finally, after a few more days of suffering, Charlotte pulled Carly aside while they were on break together, asking if she was okay. Why, oh, why did she have to ask that, Carly tried her best to brush her sadness aside, putting on her best fake smile. "Yeah, Charlotte, I'm fine, really I am." was all Carly could get out. "Well if that's the case Reece and Marjorie both want a meeting with you straight after work as you are on the late shift and Reece said he will drop you home so you don't have to walk." Charlotte informed her, Carlys smile faded, and her face went extremely pale. She was hurt that Charlotte couldn't see it was fake and that she had lied. "Thank you, Char," Carly muttered to her before feeling a sense of panic build-up inside. She got her hopes far too high. All she wanted was to be held, but clearly, that was too much to ask.

She ran to the toilet, quickly locking the door. Her breathing got heavier, and her sobs echoed through the room. Charlotte had followed and stood outside, gently knocking on the door. She asked Carly to open the door to which she listened to. Carly loved Charlotte so much that she couldn't push her away. Charlotte wrapped her arms around Carly whilst whispering into her ear. "I've got you. You are okay." Charlotte whispered. "Char, I can't do this anymore. My life is a lie, and I have no one. I'm unloved."  she sobbed to Charlotte. Carly will always remember the look on her face. "We are going to see Marjorie." Her words rang in Carlys ears. Was this going to be the start of being safe? "What if she's angry at me, especially if Autumn is there? She will just shout and tell me to get back to work. She hates emotions." Charlotte was ignoring Carly as she waffled. Carly was so wrapped  up in her thoughts. The next thing she knew, they stood outside the office.

Charlotte pushed open the door and shoved Carly inside. Her body tensed, and her anxiety rose. All eyes were now on the young girl. Carly was to busy listening to the thoughts in her head that she hadn't noticed that she had been guided by Marjorie and was currently sat in Autumns seat as she had left to cover Carly in the room. Carly could hear the conversation so clearly in her head.

"Carly, my love, what is it?" She remembers that being the first thing that Marjorie asked as she knelt on the floor in front of her, holding her hands. The young girl will never forget the look in her managers eyes as she just lets everything out. The change in Marjorie's mood shifted so quickly from panic to sympathy. "I need to get back to the rooms, Auts wont be happy if she has to be in there to long even if I am working with Winter today" That was Carlys best attempt to get out of the office, she could tell how much her words were hurting Marjorie and she couldn't handle the look of sadness on her face. Carly tried to stand up to walk out, but as she stood, Marjorie just wrapped her arms around Carly quickly, pulling the young girl against her chest. She fell into her embrace and sobbed into her shoulder. This was the hug she had been dreaming of for years.

Carly clung onto Marjorie as she traced circles on her back. She was so anxious about Autumn coming to shout at her, to the point Carlys body was now physically shaking. It was as though Marjorie could read the young girls racing mind as at that moment she thought of Autumn, Marjorie spoke up. "Carly, my love, Auts is happy to be in the toddler room. She's with Winter, so she doesn't mind. She actually offered to go," was all Marjorie said as she held her close. "Marjorie, there is so much going on, my parents, they dont, i can't..." Carly tried so hard to get it out, but she couldn't get the words from her mouth. Marjorie just listened while rubbing her back. "Hey, when you are ready, my love. There is no rush." Marjorie mumbled softly. Carly took a deep breath. "My parents, they aren't how they seem. They dont love me." Carlys body started shaking.

"Carly, my love, me and Reece wanted a meeting with you tonight after work, Charlotte has been worried about you for weeks. Your walks at lunchtime, how quiet you have been, the fake smile you do, walking to and from work. I know you and Reece have a great bond. He told me you don't sit with him on your lunch breaks like you used to, so we just wanted to check on you. I thought as you were on the late shift, we could just stay here and chat." Marjorie explained softly to her. She was beginning to calm down. "You really care about me this much?" Carly asked, feeling so confused. Nobody really cared, and deep down, she knew that. "We all adore you, my love."

After thinking for a moment, something snaped in Carly, and she started to feel angry. "Is Charlotte just after me because I haven't been quite as hands on with the children so she has had more work to do recently and this meeting is a chance for you both to get me in trouble further" Carly started. Marjorie sighed. "Carly why dont you just stay in here for the rest of the day, you clearly wont want to go home so you can sit with me and calm down" Marjorie offered but she shook her head. "Autumn won't be happy. She has work to do." she whispered as Marjorie held her hand. "Marjorie, please just let me be, and I will see you later with Reece," Carly told her as she walked out of the office to see Charlotte standing outside the door. "I trusted you, Charlotte, and then you stand and listen to everything!" She was so mad at her, Carly just couldn't help it. Charlotte went to hug Carly,  but she pushed her away. "Carly i- " Carly didn't want to listen to her lies anymore. She just walked out the front door. Charlotte ran after her, grabbing hold of her arm. "Carly,  i see you as a sister,  and right now,  you are scaring me. This isn't you at all. Honestly, just talk to me. You can come and stay at mine in the spare room, for fuck sake you could move in for all i care and just live with me. I know you have lied to me every day for the past through months" Charlotte yelled, holding onto her arm.