Shameless

Before We Start - Other Stories

I do have another story that is incomplete. I am aware. I am sorry for that.

However, I would like to explain myself. I have severe ADHD and with this comes hyper fixations. When I say this many people assume that I hyper fixate on one thing for a few days and then move on.

Wrong. I hyper fixated on The Walking Dead for THREE WHOLE years. I am a 21 year old woman, who has somehow read basically every single fanfic that has TWD, The Walking Dead, or AMCTWD, as a tag. Daryl was the main fixation with Rick being a close second, but I would settle for a Glenn fic, once I ran out of the others.

I eventually ran out of wattpad, and that's how I found out about AO3. Lovely site, I have fallen into many pairings I didn't even know were shipped. Like for example, I didn't realize just how many people wanted Daryl and Negan to get together. I don't agree, but did I still read all the stories under that tag? Absolutely.

I still love that show with my entire heart. I could still sit through all the seasons and watch it happily from start to finish. I have gone about half a year without rewatching it and I could still recite just about every scene ALMOST word for word.

Unfortunately, anyone who has this same issue knows the negative side effects. I have sat through old pixelated, bootleg versions of movies that are no longer streaming, just so I could see Norman Reedus in something that he doesn't die with in the first 10 minutes. I have searched every sketchy site possible to see any and every movie that has actors from the show.

I no longer see Jefree Dean Morgan as Danny or John. He will forever be Negen to me. I will never be able to sit through Andrew LIncoln being a caring husband to a wife that struggles until their kid finds a bird, he will forever be Rick Grimes. I can't go through trying to watch a movie with Norman in it, just to go through the heartbreak of him being Jesse Pickman's brother who is immediately shot..

I have gone through this kind of hyper fixation before with Supernatural, personally I am a Dean girl. It was never to the extent as it was with TWD, however when I couldn't find any good TWD fics, I went back to Supernatural for a week or so, to give writers time to post more chapters, or new one shots.

I have gone through just about every Dean fanfic, most Sam fics, and some Castiel, and only a few of the Alex ones. I have read many sibling fics, which are honestly amazing but they're sadly unfinished.

Now I say all this to say, after watching the entire The Ones Who Live, some of The Daryl Dixon show, and one episode of Dead City, I was sad. Although they weren't terrible, it wasn't the same. It didn't have the same vibe to it, something was just different. Nothing they create, will ever match the feeling of the original show. And again I have rewatched this show more times than I can even remember, I have honestly lost count.

I thought I was screwed for life, because I couldn't get over this fixation, I was reloading AO3 every day, checking any and all tags on wattpad. I tried watching other shows, but I just couldn't find one that I could tolerate.

I tried to go back to Supernatural, but it didn't work. I tried to go back to Criminal MInds, but it didn't work (Love this show as well, but never hyper fixated). Tried out Black SUmmer, nope, tried the Rain, nope. The 100, the Originals, The Vampire Diaries, none of them could catch my attention.

I ended up going to youtube, to rewatch some of the "..random characters.. funniest moments", and I found some reactions. I ended up watching just about every reaction made on youtube, and then I found out about Patreon. I ended up with a few subscriptions, watching people react to the show. I ended up watching all of those as well, then started watching some other reactions.

I ended up watching all of the Stranger Things reactions, another show that I hyper fixated on for about a year or two. Then I moved on to Supernatural reactions, and somehow Grey's Anatomy. Which is a show that I never watched, but had seen a lot about and thought I wouldn't like it.

I liked it enough to watch the reactions, but not enough to watch it on my own. No one in my life wants to watch the shows I like, so I ended up falling in love with reaction channels. However, as I watched these videos I slowly noticed that I was losing the fixation on TWD.

While I was excited that I could finally move on, in the nicest way possible, there was one issue with that. I had created my story Surviving The Apocalypse, a few months before I lost the fixation. It happened gradually so I was still able to write, but then I had to move and a whole bunch of things went wrong in my personal life.

I ended up unintentionally abandoning the story, on wattpad and AO3. It was never my intention too, I still have ideas that I would like to complete in that book. It is the most heartbreaking thing to finally find a story that seems promising and then realize it hasn't been updated in years. I never wanted to be one of those writers, with no disrespect to them because obviously things happen.

I will not be taking that story down just because I don't want to lose the comments, reads, and stars. However, I am not sure when I will be updating it. If you are one of the readers from that story, I am so sorry and I hope that you understand.

Now on to this story, and the reason behind it.. I have a new hyper fixation and that is the show Shameless. I have seen the cover of it for years on Netflix, and I've seen the little clip they show to get your attention, more times than I can count.

I've never been interested in watching it until I saw Jeremy Allen White in the Bear. Now, as someone who has gone through the process of falling through tunnels and going though every nick and cranny to find any and every piece of information on actors after watching the show, I could recognise the hell I was about to unload on myself.

I saw the Bear, and I couldn't help but notice that Jeremy was attractive and he was a great actor, and something in my mind decided he was a new fixation. I looked up his movies/ tv shows, and found out that I had already watched one of his movies, After Everything. I tried watching the Rental and got freaked out, decided my fear of being home alone was greater than the need to see this man on screen. And then I see Shameless.

I knew I should have eased my way into the show, an episode a week perhaps, maybe a few depending on how busy I was. And then I watched the fist episode and was somehow halfway through season 1, within the first sitting. By then my mind threw caution to the wind and I began to binge watch it. I started watching this show between June 14th - June 20th, I am now on season 8.

I have read just about all of the Lip Gallagher fics on Wattpad and AO3, with the exception of the ones that only have like 15-20 chapters and have not been updated in a few years. I've read a Carl fics, but it's kind of weird to do so seeing as I'm a grown woman and even though Ethen is older than me, most of his fics are when he was younger.

I have read one Ian fic, but it was weird seeing as his character is gay, and even though many people change the sexual orientation of characters, it was weird for me because it's the only thing I've seen Cameron in so I haven't seen him straight. Same with Mickey, except I've seen him in Twilight. (Who hasn't honestly?)

I have watched reactions to Shameless, but some people aren't the greatest reactors, no offense, and it kind of turned me away from them for a little while. I have also seen a ton of spoilers, the unfortunate part of having to research to ease small fixations within my big fixation.

I am now at a point in my fixation that I can't do anything except watch the show to completion, which is great except I can't stop imagining other things happening in the show that aren't canon. I have read all the sibling fics, most romantic ones, and I am stuck in this situation where I am just daydreaming about things happening in the show but get angry that it's not written down.

And this story was born. Right now, as I'm writing this I still have no idea if it will be a sibling or romantic fic, I imagine both at different times, so my mind is fighting with the different images. I think I'm leaning more towards sibling fix, just because Lip kind of needs to be a slut for his storyline lmao.

I hope this explains why my other story got abandoned, and although I would hate for anyone else to go through the way of hyper fixationing that I do, if you do please let me know. It would be nice to know that I am not the only one that goes through this hell of a cycle.