Home [n.h.]

VII

"I'm not driving you to that monster. I already feel guilty for driving you all those other times, I'm not doing it again."

I lean back against my pillows. Her sigh crackles over the phone, and I stare at the bedpost waiting for her response. I was ready to talk some sense into her. But, she doesn't say anything for a while.

"I'll just get Angie to do it then."

"I thought you hated Angie? She'll pry more than me."

"She's an obedient little puppy at my feet. It doesn't matter if she pries, she'll do whatever I say."

"I knew you were cold, but using a puppy? Really?"

"I love him." I paused. She said it with a hint of uncertainty, and I knew she was waiting for me to believe the lie. She didn't love him. I knew that for a fact. But why would she lie? Stella does a lot of things, but she never lies.

"You never lie Stella." My voice was stern, disappointed even. She knew I had seen through her attempt, and she huffed over the phone.

"People change, ok Ave! You can't dictate my life anymore! I can protect myself now."

I sat up, rage filling every crevice in my body. I felt bloated with lava, impregnated with anger. Whatever metaphor you chose, I felt it.

"You can protect yourself?" I scoffed. "If you go to this coffee shop, you're doing the opposite. He's gonna hurt you. He's morphed you into a liar, a weak person. You're vulnerable, Stella, and you're letting him do that to you. You're so much stronger than that."

"Aveline...."

"You don't love him. Why did you lie?"

"Because I'm terrified Ave. I'm terrified." And with that, the endless hum confirmed her departure. The noise reminded me too much of a heart monitor's cry after a soul is lost.

Loud, continuous, and painful.

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I have decided that the scumbag who murdered Stella won't stop me from attending college. The detectives advised me against attending classes this week, but fuck them. I can handle myself.

Niall promised to drive me today when he drove me home Saturday night since we shared the first class of the day. Niall had also taken me to the American Apparel down the block to get clothes for the week. I payed him back in full when we got to my hotel room, and we just decided to hang out. Well, Hangout, as in play hide and seek in the hallways of the hotel.

The floors creaked, cheering each of us on, as we took elevators and stairways to find each other. It honestly was one of the best nights of my life. He slept on my couch and I slept on the floor of my living room. We had been watching Silver Linings Playbook, but I was too tired to keep my eyes open for 2 hours. So, as my eyelids were sticky with sleep, I fell into a deep slumber that hadn't plagued me often in the recent past.

Niall was gone by the time I woke up Sunday morning. But, there was room service waiting for me by the couch, a full plate and an empty plate sitting side by side.

His apology for leaving I guess.

He later called me telling me he had something to attend to.

But, right now, I don't want to ponder on that, I was ready to make the most of this day. Especially since I had missed the first week.

"You ready?" Niall asks, smiling at me from the driver's seat. He reaches for my hand, and I softly give it to him, smiling wildly.

When Niall got affectionate, I would never really have a reaction. I would feel flattered, beyond flattered, actually, But I never got giddy to the point where I couldn't hide it. The tingles shooting up my spine were foreign, but they felt good. They shocked me, but I wanted more. I never felt that with anyone. He had barely touched me, and my lower stomach was already heating up. It felt as though my stomach was filled with warm honey. My cheeks flushed, but he wasn't even looking at my uncomfortable self.