Home [n.h.]

VIII

The office was gloomy and so was he, the gray hair minimal on his pasty head. His suit was visibly old, I could almost see the dust on it, as he walked towards me to greet me. I didn't want to be here, I wasn't crazy and I wasn't in need of a 'lending ear.' I just wanted to go home. But, my mom thought otherwise.

"Hello, I'm Carl. Nice to meet you Aveline."

I gave him a confused look. I hadn't told him my name yet and my chest filled with golf balls. I didn't want anyone knowing me without my consent. It was just my name, I know, but that means he probably knew more. I didn't want him to know more.

After a moment of silence on my end, he said "well, take a seat!" with a soft chuckle.

I walked over to the black leather couch directly across from his love seat. He rested his arms on the arm chairs and stared at me.

"So, how are you?"

I rested my hands on my thighs, gripping them. "Fine."

"Fine is such a... fake word. How are you...really?"

"'Perfectly fine." I challenged.

"Your mother said you might be... reluctant."

"What else did my mother say?" I questioned.

"She told me to be careful."

I broke my eye contact with him and scoffed.

"So, let's get straight to the point. Why are you doing this? Going out when you're not supposed to. I mean, you came home extremely drunk off your ass the other night. You know it hurts your parents."

I was caught off guard by his language, looking from the ground with wide eyes.

"Because it's fun. Duh." I mumbled.

"You know, you don't need alcohol to have fun." My eyes shifted to the ground once again. He was right. I had always believed this, but lately, I hadn't cared. It was coming back to me now.

But I stayed silent.

"Aveline. Is it because you're trying to forget?"

I looked up quickly. "No."

"Did it all come back to you all of a sudden? Is it following you around?"

"No." I said, straining this time.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"It wasn't your fault. "

"I know!"

"It wasn't your fault." I started to tremble as he repeated the phrase. My eyes strained, my face scrunching up, trying to prevent the tears from flooding my face.

"You don't know anything.... Drinking makes it better!"

"That's why you're here. To learn. To learn why it doesn't."

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College. Is. Amazing.

A whole week of college has drifted my thoughts away from everything. Niall, Harry and I have spent every night at my hotel room. It's pretty big, considering the police station is paying for it. We've just been watching movies, playing cards, and telling all kinds of stories. One night, Niall and Harry bought nerf guns for all of us and we had a full out war. I found Harry to be a really nice, goofy guy and I warmed up to him very quickly. He always brings the food. Niall always brings games and activities to do, and they sleep on the couch while I sleep in the bedroom.