Mehrama

10.

I have been talking to Karan for the last few days now. After he came to our house that day, papa said yes to them and they also agreed.

The date was set for 3 weeks later and all the functions had to be done before then. In between all the preparations and getting ready, I had taken some time to talk to Karan and get to know him better. He wasn't as bad as I originally thought and he always assured me about supporting me for my continuing education. He suggested that we move to Canada a week after our marriage so we have time to settle down before school starts and I had agreed.

When I told this to mumma and papa, they didn't have any problem because now Karan would be with me. All they advised was to make sure Karan's parents were on board with the idea. But Karan told me he would manage everything and I had begun to trust him.

As I was getting ready for the roka in my room, I heard the sound of songs and chatter coming from downstairs as all the guests had begun to come. Just then, there was a knock on my door.

'Who is it? Aajao Andar'. (Who is it? Come in.)
'Beta, it's mumma. Are you ready?'
'Almost mumma, just a few more things to do.'

I smiled and mumma smiled after looking at me. She seemed a little tired but also anxious - I could understand. I placed my hand on her knee and looked at her with as much sincerity as I could.

'Mumma, is everything okay?'
'Haan, everything is fine. I was just disappointed that I couldn't sit and talk with you in the last few days because of the ceremony preparations. I am sorry beta.'
'No, it's okay mumma. I got some time to think about Karan and learn more about him. He seems like a nice guy,'

She nodded and then after a pause said, 'Are you happy with him?'

'Mumma, everything has been finalized. It's our roka today. Don't you think it's a little too early to ask that?'
Again, mumma's smile disappeared and she looked at me with a serious look.

'Arshi, you are going to a different house now. You will have to adjust according to them and their traditions.'
'Yes mumma, I know.'

'And over there, you won't know anyone but your husband, Karan, from day 1. So you need to make sure that you make this decision after a lot of thought. It's not too late now also.'

'Mumma, I am happy with your and papa's decision and Karan is genuinely a good person. He is moving to Canada just so I can study more and he has promised me countless times that he will support me in any way he can and will manage everything at home. I trust him.'

'That makes me very happy to hear Arshi. All I want for you is to have a healthy family and build a beautiful home with Karan. I pray everyday that you don't have to face the same struggles that I had to face when I was newly married. I love you beta, God Bless You.'

I felt my throat choke with tears and I just reached forward and hugged mumma. It was slowly starting to settle in that soon I would be married and have a house and responsibilities of my own. I wouldn't be my mumma's little Arshu anymore...

'Accha, I am sorry for making you so emotional. Don't cry now or your makeup will get ruined,' she smiled.

I dabbed my eyes with a tissue and smiled too. It would be alright and work out fine in the end.
'Chalo, I will go down now and see what guests have come. If Seema aunty doesn't find me when she comes, she will take the whole house on her head.'

'Haan, okay. Let me know when I have to come down.'

'Yes, all the best beta,' and mumma kissed my forehead. As she was going to open the bedroom door, she turned back and said:

'Oh, I completely forgot. When is Darshan coming?'
'He isn't coming mumma. He is very busy nowadays. But he will come to meet us after the marriage, he promised me.'
'He is a lovely boy! I always thought that both of you would get married one day. But Karan is not too bad,' and mumma laughed, her beautiful smile returned.

I smiled too but internally, I had that same feeling of pain and nervousness. I read his message to me today morning but hadn't replied yet. What could I say to him now?

I looked at the small Shri Krishna statue on my desk, where Shri Krishna was holding a flute in his hand and playing some beautiful song and his eyes were closed. I looked at him, just I had whenever I had a big exam, or an important day and joined my hands in prayer,

'Shri Krishna, I feel very nervous today. Please make whatever is the best for me happen and also give me the courage to fight anything bad. Also, keep my mumma and papa happy and healthy and give them a long life. And keep Darshan happy too and give him lots of success in his career. And lastly, please bless me before I go down and take the biggest decision of my life today.'

After sitting for a few moments with her palms joined and her eyes closed, Arshi got up slowly and sat down on her bed. She wanted to remain in quiet for a few minutes and listen to her favorite song. So she opened her phone and put on her all-time favorite song and closed her eyes, just focusing on the voice and the lyrics.

Kyu Khuda ne di lakeerein,
Jis me zaahir naam nahi tera,
Likh raha hun dard saare,
Yun to Shaayar naam nahi mera

....