Mehrama

28.

After crying for what felt like hours, I laid down and slept. I hoped that this was all just a bad dream. When I woke up, Karan would be there, flowers in his hands and an apologetic look on his face. 

He would apologize and hug me and tell me it was okay and this was a challenge but we'd get through it together. 

I hoped against hoping. 

--

I was woken up by the sunlight falling on my eyes. It took me a few moments to wake up properly and orient myself. And then, everything that had happened yesterday, our argument and my breakdown, it all came back to me in a flurry of memories. I slowly got out of bed, too tired to think about anything and made my way to the bathroom. 

He didn't come home after all. His keys and shoes weren't there and neither was his car. I felt panic in my chest again but I didn't want to go through it again so I gently rubbed my chest over the heart and took a few deep breaths. 

It's okay. He needed some time to cool down and think clearly. It will be okay. 

I didn't feel like eating anything and so I took a shower, got dressed and then went downstairs to sit on the sofa and wait for Karan to come back home. 

As I sat there, thoughts swirled like a whirlwind in my mind. I thought about everything he had said and everything I had said back. Was I trying to justify his words? His-his idea of aborting the baby? 

Maybe he was right...

He definitely was right. Having a baby would set us back in our careers. 

No, my career, not his. He could go on living like nothing happened. I would be the one who would carry the baby, going through so many changes in my body that maybe the life I dreamt of once would no longer be possible. 

It was me who'd bring the baby into this world. The same world that was already so hostile to a life not yet born/ 

Thinking through these thoughts, going back and forth really made me unaware of the reality and life around me. I didn't even realize how quickly the time had passed and neither did I hear the ringing of the doorbell. Once, and then twice. 

'Madam, someone is at the door.'
...
'Madam, are you okay?'
'Hmm?'
'There is someone at the door.'
'Oh, I am sorry Priya. You can go and finish your work. I'll check.'

I got up and went to the door to check who had come at this time. Maybe it was Karan, and he finally had some sense knocked into him and was ready to step into this new phase of life with me. Of course, he was back because as short-tempered Karan might be, he would never want to end a baby's life. Much less his own. And we could talk this out together. 

I removed the chain from the lock and turned the handle to open the door, half-expecting to see Karan standing there, with a bouquet in his hand and that sweet, sweet smile of his. I unconsciously smiled at the thought and pulled the door open.

A man was tying his shoelaces. Even though I couldn't see his face, I felt a sense of comfort in watching that man tie his shoelace. Almost as if I had known him all my life.

'Umm, yes? How can I help you?'
'Oh, sorry, I didn't realize someone opened the door,' saying so, he looked up to see me.

'Darshan?' I couldn't believe her eyes. My best friend from ten years, who I hadn't seen in the last three, standing in front of me. I just looked at him, my mouth was open in surprise and I was alternating between smiling and being in shock. 

Darshan couldn't comprehend that he was finally here either, standing in front of me. His expression told me so. 

 He alternated between smiling and blinking to stop tears from falling. Happy tears, mind you!
'Darshan, it's you! Oh my God- how are you? When did you come here? I have so much to say and talk to you about and I don't-'
'Yes, Arshi, I am here now and I will patiently answer all your questions. But before that, come here.'

Darshan opened his arms and I practically jumped to hug him. I wanted to believe that he was truly, finally here and standing in front of me.

Without breaking the hug, I said, 'Darshan, I missed you so much and I can't tell you how happy I am to see you.'
'Arshi, meri jaan, I am one point more happy to see you than you are to see me.'
'Meri jaan?Really,  you still haven't changed at all...'
'I will always be your Darshu no matter how far I am Arshi. Remember, Saat samundar paar, Darshu hai Arshi ka yaar?'