Flames of Ashes

Chapter Sixteen. Broken.

"Do not add to your misery"~Xarian-Jarda

***
The dream began on a serene beach, the soft lull of the waves providing a deceptive calm. I walked barefoot on the warm sand, the breeze tousling my hair. Beside me, Wyn Eomer strode with a measured pace, his expression grave and thoughtful.

"Xarian," Wyn Eomer began, his voice steady and filled with a wisdom that seemed to carry the weight of ages, "suffering is an essential part of leadership. Gold is for fire, silver is for the furnace, and suffering is for a good leader."

My dusk eyes narrowed as I considered his words. "Why must one suffer to be a good leader? Can one not be naturally gifted?" Was it not possible for one to be blessed with certain skills that make them better than others?

Wyn Eomer shook his head slowly as we continued walking. "Gifts alone are not enough. True strength, and true wisdom, they are forged in the fires of adversity. It is through suffering that one learns empathy, resilience, and the fortitude to lead."

"I still do not understand why if one does not suffer, one cannot be a better person." I turned to face him but he was not there. I looked behind and only saw the rocks and Cliff, I took a step forward only to see Wyn Eomer standing before me, his expression shifting to one of urgency. "They have come."

My heart quickened. "Who?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"They have come!" he repeated, gripping my shoulders with a force that belied his usual calm demeanor. "Trust no one."

I awoke, my heart pounding and her body drenched in sweat, fear gripping me in its icy hold and as much as I would have liked to dwell on this dream, seeing it was the second dream I was having about trust, I could not because this morning we were in combat training lined up horizontally as usual, ready to be chosen to fight.

I understood that I would not be chosen today, but I could not help the way my heart raced, my breathing shallow and my knee, aching reliving every moment of the fight that happened.

Jared the bastard, with his smile, ambled with his hands behind his back and when he got to where I was, he lingered and I caught my heartbeat in my ears. Fortunately, he walked passed me and stopped at the boy beside Tamsin who was beside me.

No! "Jordan." I breathed. Jordan and I had met during Wyn classes and he was always scrawny looking, pale, and shorter than his peers at his age. Just like me, he was horrible at the training and I was certain he would end up like me.

"What's your name, boy?" Jordan was shaking, his eyes darting around and licking his lips. "My na... na... name i... is... Jo...Jordan."
"The time you took to answer your name, the battle would have already been over." People laughed and snickered and I clenched my fists.

"You will be fighting with..." His eyes trailed and landed on a bigger, more muscly with a head shaved and multiple piercings on his lips, nose, ears, and eyebrows.

"Don't do anything stupid, Xar." Tamsin held my hand as Jared announced that Jordan would be fighting with 'the alligator.'
'How original'. I thought to myself and rolled my eyes. However, Tamsin was right I was going to do something stupid.

Jared gripped Jordan's shoulders and the poor boy shrunk back and his pale face, paler with droplets of water rolling down his face.
"Don't be scared boy, you are going to be a knight" He laughed mockingly, "So go on."

I left my position and stood in front of Jordan, raising my chin to stare at his cold, soulless eyes, and with all the courage and firmness I could muster, even with my hands shaking, my knee wobbly, I said, "No."