🔞5EX🔞

Roni

I order an espresso Martini, then rapidly change my mind after memories of the perverted Texan come to mind and my stomach lurches.

"I'll have a double Laphroaig with a splash of water please." I tell the very attentive waiter with a smile, turning my attention back to Roni as I hand him back the drinks menu, my stomach settling down a little.
She is a very attractive woman, petite, slender and with a voluminous curtain of fiery copper hair.
Her face is a little over made but it doesn't stop me from noticing the assessing gaze she is giving me, or the flash of sympathy I see there too.

"You're exactly what I'd expect for the wife of Henry's son. Beautiful, clearly attractive to the opposite sex but unaware of it. You have an air of innocence about you that makes you perfect prey for that kind of evil, a vulnerability that speaks to it." She tells me before taking a sip of her overdecorated cocktail, placing it back on the table between us with a sigh. I remain silent, hoping she will continue to talk and she does.

"I knew if I raised my boy with Henry involved he would go bad, I knew it, which is why I never told him about Billy. Raised him alone and did a bloody good job if I do say so myself. He was sweet, funny, happy, so smart! He had so many friends, a part time job he enjoyed and a girlfriend who he adored."

I feel my blood beginning to run cold at the memory of what this 'Golden boy' did to me, bile rising in my throat that I attempt to swallow down with a sip of my drink.
Roni notices my discomfort and reaches across the table and places her hand on mine.

"I'm so sorry Sydney! I'm so sorry for what he did to you! I know there is no excuse, he did a wicked, shameful, terrible thing......... he hurt you, your friends, and all to prove something to that piece of shit Henry!" she fumes, finishing her drink with one huge suck on the neon pink straw. She raises her hand and the waiter arrives almost immediately to take her order.

After a few seconds I ask her why her son, I couldn't bring myself to say his name, wanted to meet his father in the first place.
Our new round of drinks arrive and the waiter clears our glasses before Roni answers.

"When he was 14 he had a project at school about DNA, it excited him, made him think about the fact that there was a man out there with whom he shared DNA. That was the first time he asked about his father. I was shocked to be honest, he'd never once mentioned it before and I didn't know what to say. I made a joke about not being enough for him to cope with when it comes to nagging, he laughed and that was the end of that. I was so relieved, but knew that wouldn't be the last time he asked, and I had to have some kind of response prepared since I didn't know when that question would come up again.
It was just over 2 years before he asked again, he was just 17, and I was ready. I told him a version of the truth, but may have made Henry sound too much like a regular guy.
I told Billy that I had met his father while working as an actress and had a short relationship with him before realising that he had a wife and son already, so ended things and moved away. I couldn't very well tell him that the reason he never knew his father was because he was a misogynistic, abusive, violent psychopath......... but I should have!
Billy was absolutely floored that he had a brother and was so excited. I kicked myself when I realised I'd let that slip. That's one thing Billy had always wanted, a sibling, but I never had anymore children. He pressed me to tell him who his father was but I told him I wasn't ready to tell him that. He was livid and left home for three days. He came home and things were different. He told me he'd find out on his own who his dad was if he had to, but that if he did have to find out that way he would cut me out of his life. I couldn't believe my ears. The son is spent my life raising alone was prepared to throw me away over a man he had never met!
I told him how painful that was to hear, how hurt I felt that he had said that. Do you know what he said? My sweet, funny, happy boy. 'Get the fuck over it you whiney bitch!' It was like looking at Henry!! The sneer, the tone, the icy glare. I sobbed for hours after that, the shock that despite having no influence over my sons upbringing his fathers DNA was in there, and beginning to rear its ugly head.
I really thought that he could be the opposite of everything his father was if only I kept Henry away. I was wrong. DNA is powerful and sadly my Billy was genetically like his father.
I knew I risked losing him, but refused to tell him any more about Henry, not even his name, so he left. Just like that. He left, no warning, no goodbye, just gone. I never saw him again." She sobs, taking another long drink from her glass.

I wonder what to say to this. I'm sympathetic to her loss as a mother, but don't want to see Billy as a victim of his genetics. We all have control of ourselves, morals and life experiences that shape us, Billy could not have been the lovely boy she paints him as in my opinion, but I choose to say nothing about that. Roni isn't to blame for his choices, I have no reason to punish her with harsh words about her son, even though he hurt me badly.

"He messaged me a few times. They weren't nice messages, very curt to begin with, just brief words to let me know he was ok.
The messages became lengthier, more aggressive and sexist, really unpleasant, derogatory views on women's place in society that he had never held before, really crass language and just........ just pure venom and spite!
I knew that's when he had found Henry, and that's when he stopped all communication with me.
I tried so hard to protect him from the toxic spectre of his father, but it was all to no avail. He grew up and became him anyway. I lost my boy for the first time to that man, and then I lost him all over again, but this time permanently, to his son!
He killed my boy. Your husband killed his own brother because he'd served his purpose. They didn't want or need him around anymore, hed been used up and now was trash to be discarded."

"How do you know for sure it was Harry that killed your son Roni? Do you have proof? Can you prove that?" I ask, draining my second glass of whiskey and beckoning the waiter to bring us a third round.

"I do, and I can" a sly smile spreading across her face.