His Devious Love✓(Book 1)

Reckoning

Annie's pov

Forgiving and forgetting are not the same thing. Sometimes, we might be able to forgive someone but still struggle to forget what they've done. On the flip side, there are times when we can forget the details but find it impossible to forgive. For me, both have been a challenge.

In the past three years, the pain and struggle have been overwhelming. Three months ago, Jungkook forced me into this marriage. I agreed to it out of fear for my kids. If he could kidnap me and our children, he could do anything. Terrified, I signed the papers.

Jungkook’s confession hit me hard. It made me realize that while he was wrong for trusting Taehyung, then I was wrong for trusting Soo Hyun. He saw that picture of me and taehyung In the rain. His anger was obvious. We both made mistakes, and we both suffered. But just because I understood my own faults doesn’t mean I fell back in love with him or forgave him. I didn’t. I just recognised my own mistakes.

Nothing can justify his actions. He filmed our private moments, blackmailed me, and threatened me. Those actions are unforgivable and unforgettable.

For the first month, I didn’t speak to him properly. He kept us practically as hostages, and it was a crime. I taunted and provoked him, hoping to see a glimpse of anger or frustration. Instead, he just smiled and mumbled apologies. His calmness frustrated me even more. I wanted him to show his true emotions, but he never did.

It became clear he wasn’t going to let me go. He would rather kill or die than let me escape. Then I saw him with the kids. They had grown attached to him.

One night, Jae called him "appa," and Jungkook broke down, hugging him and crying. Seeing him like that, and knowing Jae had been asking about how Koreans refer to their fathers, made me cry too. I felt lost and unsure of how to handle these emotions.It was heart-wrenching to see the kids happy with him, especially after  Changmin. I felt torn and didn’t know how to handle things.

The kids seemed happy with him, and they had already lost Changmin. I decided to put my own feelings aside for their sake. If Jungkook made them happy, then maybe that was enough. I didn’t have many choices left.

Despite this, my behavior toward him didn’t change. We maintained a façade of civility in front of the kids. We played with them, kept our issues hidden. Jungkook made an effort to include me in their games, trying to make me laugh and bond with them.

I still had nightmares, and surprisingly, Jungkook was there to comfort me. It was strange, but he showed he cared in his own way. He gave me a phone and told me I could talk to anyone I wanted. And he didn't forget to add that you can't leave me anyway.

I didn't ask I just told him that the first person I'll call will be changmin. He rolled his eyes but didn't resist. I called Changmin and shared the news of the marriage, though I left out that it was forced. Changmin is doing well in Korea.

The only thing Jungkook insisted on was cuddling at night. At first, he respected my space, but his obsession eventually took over. He promised not to touch me unless I wanted, and he kept that promise, but he still cuddles and kisses my head as I sleep.

Sometimes, I find him sobbing into my neck, and I’m left wondering why things are this way. He can’t let me go, and I can’t love him like I used to.

Why are we like this??

A few days ago, I met with Dr. Elle, a therapist my colleague suggested. Because i said that i left my  job because of the stress,. I was really lost not knowing what to do.

“I understand that loving him feels impossible and leaving him seems equally so. It’s a difficult place to be in. But remember, holding onto the past will only anchor you in pain. The past is a part of you, but it doesn’t have to define your future.”