LGBT+

Rainbow 911

*A/N: This play script-like thing is a very random and kind of ridiculous thing that I wrote when I was high on too many Monster energy drinks. I apologize in advance :/*

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Scene: It is just another day at Rainbow Headquarters (the international hotline for queer emergencies). A gender neutral operator sits at their desk, wearing a head seat and taking calls from panicked queer individuals all over the country.

Operator: Rainbow 911, what is your emergency?

Caller #1: Ohgodohgodohgod please help me!

Operator: Calm down, please. How can I help you?

Caller #1: OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT ASDFGFDUJVJKH

Operator: Friend, I cannot understand you. Please calm down. Why don't you start by telling me your name and how you identify, and then see if you can explain your problem?

Caller #1: *breaths heavily* Okay okay. Um, my name is Andrew. I'm a sixteen year old gay male. Well, recently gay. Um, very recently. Okay, I kind of just admitted it to myself and haven't officially come out of the closet to anyone.

Operator: Alright, that's a start. Now, Andrew, if you could just tell me-

Andrew: MY DAD CAUGHT ME WATCHING GAY PORN AND OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO MY LIFE IS RUINED I-

Operator: Andrew, please calm down! Take deep breaths now. Come on, I'll do it with you. Breathe.

Andrew: *breathes*

Operator: Okay, are we calm now?

Andrew: Yeah. Yeah I think so.

Operator: Alright now. If we could just-

Andrew: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST HUMILIATING THING EVER I AM SO FUCKING-

Operator: ANDREW!

Andrew: *breathes* okay, sorry.

Operator: First things first, I need you to rate your father's homophobia on a scale of one to five; one being not homophobic and five being an absolute dickhead.

Andrew: Uhhh....I guess a two? I mean, he's not really homophobic, but I don't know how he'd feel about having a gay son.

Operator: Okay then. How did he react when he saw what you were watching?

Andrew: He just turned right around and left my room, and I haven't talked to him since. That's why I'm so scared.

Operator: If you go talk to your father about what happened right now, will you have to fear negative repercussions such as being kicked out of your house, or physical abuse of any kind?

Andrew: No, but I might die of embarrassment.

Operator: Listen to me Andrew, I'm betting that your father is just as afraid as you are right now. He's confused about what he saw and doesn't know what to make of it. Now, if the situation is like you said and you are not in any danger, my recommendation is that you just go talk to him.

Andrew: I can't do it, I just can't! I'm not ready to come out!

Operator: That may be the case, but unfortunately your father is going to want an explanation for what he saw.

Andrew: What do I even say?

Operator: Probably tell him first that you're sorry he had to see that. Then, tell him that yes, you're gay, and that this is who you are and you're not going to change. He'll accept you or he won't. Either way, he'll have to get used to it.