"Jairus, calm down. Siguradong maayos lang ang asawa mo," paulit-ulit na pag-alu ng pinsan ko sa 'kin.
I felt like the worst. Hindi ako mapakali. Hindi matigil sa pagsikip ang dibdib ko habang iniisip na napahamak si Jemma. . . dahil sa akin.
Umiling ako sa sinabi ni Pia. Ngayon lang bumalik ang pandinig ko dahil para akong nabingi sa lahat ng nangyari.
Of course, she will be fine. I just can't help but to be scared. Buhay ng asawa ko ang pinag-uusapan dito. I can't afford to lose her in my arms.
"Jairus, we already have the results of the investigations," one of our family's trusted investigator calmly said.
Tumambol ang dibdib ko. Hindi pa rin nahahanap ang asawa ko. All of the passengers with her were all well. Walang napahamak. Walang nawala. And I'm thankful for that. Only that. . . my wife's missing.
Fuck.
Ang saya-saya pa namin bago nangyari 'yon. Sa isang iglap, bakit biglang naging ganito?
"That's not true!" umalingawgaw ang sigaw ko sa buong opisina.
My head ached. Nanginig ako sa pinaghalong emosyon. Takot, galit para sa sarili, lungkot. . . sakit. Ayaw kong paniwalaan!
We just got married! There's no way she's gone in just a blink of an eye! Hindi ganito. Hindi ko ito matatanggap! Hindi ko. . . mapapatawad ang sarili ko.
If only I stayed with her. If only I wasn't too workaholic, hindi niya na sana ako pinuntahan para lang makita ako! This is all my fault!
"Jairus, it's been months. We didn't see her body but all of her clothes and things were found. She's dead-"
"You are fucking fired! Putangina! Get out!"
Hindi ko na napigilan ang nararamdaman. Tinapon at binasag ko ang lahat ng mga gamit na nakita. Ang bilis na kabog ng dibdib ko ay pinadidilim ang paningin ko. I screamed in pain. . . in madness. That's not true! She's alive! Hindi pa siya patay! Bubuo pa kami ng sariling pamilya. Babalikan pa niya ako!
No!
Her gentle smiles flashed in my mind. Makikita ko pa ang mga ngiti niyang iyon. Makakasama ko pa siya nang matagal.
But why life have to be this cruel to me? I just want to be happy with her.
"Jairus, accept it already. Nahanap na natin ang bangkay niya. She's gone," Chard said with sympathy.
I glared at him. Nakita ko ang awa at lungkot ng mukha niya para sa 'kin. He also looked at me like I was going insane. That I shouldn't be this delusional anymore and accept that I no longer have a wife.
Umigting ang panga ko sa galit. His last words kept ringing in my ears. Kung hindi ko lang siya pinsan, matagal ko na siyang hinambalos dahil sa kanyang sinabi.
"It's not her," I whispered, also convincing myself.
Ako lang ang hindi naniniwala. My family mourned for her. Her family mourned, too. While I couldn't. I couldn't accept it.
"Jairus, hindi ka ba talaga sasama? Today's your wife's burial. Kahit respeto man lang para sa pamilya niya," tita Emily said.
She's wearing a black top. With my family, Chard, Pia, Mom and Dad behind her. Lahat sila nakatingin sa 'kin.
"It's not her," nanghihina kong saad sa kanila. "Hindi siya 'yon kaya bakit ako pupunta?"
"Siya 'yon! Napatunayan na siya nga 'yon, Jairus! You need to accept it! And grieve!" Tita shouted at me.
YOU ARE READING
Wounded Hearts
RomanceHarsh waves splashed into Sydney Palacio's life. She was sometimes swayed by it. Those bruises she received. . . made her heart wounded-badly want it to be healed. Until one day, it affected her ideals in life, as those waves became a mixture of bit...
