The Desire Within

Chapter 9

She looked peaceful

No matter what happened to her, she always looked peaceful when sleeping.

I'm guessing anyone would be at peace in their sleep, but her, it was a different look of peace on her

This sort of peace was cruel.

It was the kind that made you feel like it was forever when deep down you know it's not. It was the kind to make you forget it was temporary, it was the kind that made you yearn to stay but forced you to go.

And that is what she did. She woke up.

Her eyes didn't open at first, she didn't want them to. She just listened. She listened to the silence in her room, to her breathing.

She listened until she opened her eyes.

Dexinaiya was feeling all sorts of things.

The emptiness of the peace she had felt in her sleep

The throbbing pain in her head

The sharp pain in her leg

The soreness in her eyes and throat.

For a long time, Dexinaiya refused to move. She stayed in the same curled up position long after she opened her eyes. Her mind wasn't thinking of anything. In fact, it was fuzzy and numb.

All Dexinaiya did that morning was lay on her bedroom carpet and stare at her closet door.

The light coming from her window didn't bother her. The light was just a reminder of the day passing.

Throughout this time, Dexinaiya could only hear her breathing.

The low inhales were loud in her ears and mind, and the exhales were the same.

For a second, the sound comforted her.

When Dexinaiya decided to get up, her body worked against her.

Not only was she in pain, but she was weak. As she pulled herself up from the floor and managed to get on her feet, it was as if her body gave up.

She was back on the floor in seconds. Dexinaiya couldn't help but start to cry. Her tears dropping onto the carpet below her as she weeped at her situation.

'You're useless, aren't you? Can't even get up from the floor, let alone get out of your dad's control. You are meant to be a pawn ,you were born to be a pawn. Just stay here and pity yourself some more'

Dexinaiya cried more as she repeated her own thoughts in her head.

' What's the point of this life if it isn't even mine'

Dexinaiya had stayed on the floor crying for a couple of minutes more until she grew tired.

She was tired of feeling like this. There was so much pity and sorrow for a life she couldn't even start to live in.

'There's no point of feeling this way, Dexinaiya, just make the best of what's happening right now'

Dexinaiya could feel how weak she was at this moment, but deep down, she knew that she couldn't just do anything. She had to live the best she could, for her uncle. That is what he wanted for her. She would continue to live in this new life of hers even if her body gives her the consequences of surviving in it.

Trying to stand up again, Dexinaiya could feel her body fighting her again. The pain in her leg shot up her spine as she finally stood up.

Dexinaiya tried her best not to falter as she made her way to her attached bathroom. She reached out to grab her wall for support as she opened her bathroom door.