Jan: Hit me harder!!! Is that all you got!!!! Joshua hits Jan in the groin, and that's the end of having kids (;
Jan: Shit!!! Ahhh, that hurts!!!!!!!! You might have taken away my chance to have a son, but you won't win this fight!!! Joshua and Jan both go for a chin strike simultaneously. They hit each other at the same time, neither has their guard up... Both fall to the ground at the same time.
Elias: You can't be serious!!! I bet fifty euros on you, Josh!!! You can't do this to me, get up!!! Elias kicks Joshua in the face. Joshua wakes up and kicks Elias in the groin.
Joshua: So, now there are two of us who have risked our futures and lost...
Tom: Don't you think you've had too much Jägermeister?
Joshua: Shut up, Tom!
Jan: It's been almost half a year since that bastard died...
Elias: Yeah... Ouch...
Tom: I don't know, but since he's been gone, the world doesn't feel the same...
Jan: Two deaths in a row...
Elias: I'm proud of the second one. Jan laughs!
Jan: I never thought you could filet like that, Elias! Elias grins.
Jan: Bro has discovered hidden talents.
Tom: Just so we're clear, I had nothing to do with this sick shit!!!!!
Jan: You tasted the sauce, so you're just as guilty as us!
Tom: I thought the schnitzels were just normal schnitzels!!!!
Jan: Pffu... I don't know what you're talking about, they were schnitzels and since when is a schnitzel not a normal schnitzel... Tom rolls his eyes and gives up.
Tom: So this is my fate, huh? You get bitches once in your life and can't interact with them because you end up in jail! Joshua puts an arm around Tom.
Joshua: That's life!!! Bros before hoes.
Jan: Yep, Josh is right! Besides, it's been half a year and the police still list Emilia as missing, which means they know nothing!!! Otherwise, it would be known as murder! Hey, but Elias! Best idea ever to sell that stuff to the French!!! It went like hotcakes! The worst part is they wanted more, it seems they liked our schnitzel package with sauce so much they wanted to make a contract with us!
Elias: Really!!! Jan: Yeah, really!!! Elias and Jan start dancing...
Tom: You turned them down, right?
Jan: Well, you know.........
Tom: Jan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan: The offer was so good... I couldn't refuse...
Tom: Jan, are you serious!!!! Jan looks embarrassed.
Jan: Yeah...
Tom: You know what the schnitzels are made of, just like I do!!!
Jan: Yeah, but I explained it to you!!! When I say the offer was too good, I mean it!!! A kg of schnitzel costs on average 16.90€, they offered ten times that, we're going to be rich!!!!!!! Tom is internally desperate...
Tom: Didn't your mother ever teach you that a human life is priceless? Jan grins.
Tom: That's not an argument for you... Whatever, more importantly, how do you plan this whole thing? You're not just going to kill random people, right?
Jan: Of course not! I already thought of that, and I noticed that a certain group is best suited for it, namely the meat from exen(ex-girlfriends)!!! Joshua starts chugging a Jägermeister bottle...
Jan: No, Josh!
Joshua: Oh, not enough yet? Joshua makes a tornado.
Jan: No shit, that's pretty impressive! Especially with the three-liter XXL bottle... You can only find those at Kaufland as far as I know.
Elias: You're gay if you die of alcohol poisoning!
Joshua: Fuck...
Jan: Whatever, back to the point, with exen I mean ex-girlfriends. Joshua: Ohhhhhhhhh!!!!! Hic. Joshua is wasted.
Jan: It's a small restaurant, so it only needs 10 kg of meat daily. The body of a woman weighs around 60-70 kg, of which about 10-25 kg is usable meat, the rest is unusable. So if we get 70 kg, we can get through the week with four, with the skinny ones we need more.
Tom: And how do you plan to get so many? Jan: You know, Tom, there are plenty of them... Men with broken hearts... Which also means there are plenty of exes. Josh is about to start with the vodka bottle, but Elias knocks it out of his hand.
Jan: Are you in?
Elias: Yeah, sounds fun, why not.
Josh: I'll go wherever my brother goes.
Tom: Fuck you!!! I mean, do I even have a choice? Everyone in sync: No!
Tom: Looks like I'm forced to be in then...
Jan: Yay! He hugs Tom...
Jan: You better watch out you don't die today, or you won't get to heaven as a gay sack!!! Josh: Fuck you!
Elias: You always have to overdo it. And so the friends were determined to open their own butcher shop, to produce a special schnitzel. The friends went back home to their shared apartment.
YOU ARE READING
Freundschaft/Friendship
HorrorA group of four friends are having fun during New Year, until someone comes up with a buisness idea that completely changes their fortunes ! The story is full of funny moments and has some grotesque parodies from the fnaf universe. I hope you have g...
