Jan: Guys, I have an idea...
Tom: Oh no, brace yourselves, I hope it's not something like with the schnitzels again...
Jan: Better.
Tom: Fuck.
Jan: We're in a cult building, right?
Tom: Yes......
Jan: Cults are known for their unconventional practices and summoning rituals.
Tom: Not every cult, but yeah, go on.
Jan: At the pillar, there's a sign for a library, which means there's a library and...
Tom: No shit, Sherlock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan: Just let me finish! I'll get to the point, I personally believe they also have a section for resurrecting the dead, and you know what that means.
Elias: We resurrect Bruce Lee so he can be our sensei!!!
Joshua: No, you idiot, we resurrect Brian!
Elias: That's what I meant!!!
Jan: Good, then we know what we're looking for!
5 minutes later:
Jan: I found it! Resurrection! I'll read it out loud. The innocence of tears is needed, along with a mouse that smokes, What gives strength and is loved by muscles and singles out one of the weak. Finally, a woman whom one loves must be sacrificed!
Joshua: A mouse that smokes? I think the guy who wrote this was smoking something...
Jan: Get a pot and put a mouse that smokes in it...
Tom: What the fuck!
Jan: They have a section for such things, must be needed often.
Tom: You know what, I'll just shut down, I won't think anymore...
Jan: Hold Tom tight! Joshua and Tom get closer and grab Tom...
Tom: Hey, what's going on? No!!! I don't want to cry, I didn't do anything! Leave me alone, ah my eyes are burning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jan started cutting onions in front of Tom's eyes... Tom starts to sob...
Jan: You're doing great, Tom, a few more just to be sure, and done!
Tom: sniff... Okay, and how do you plan to get the last ingredient? All three look at Tom...
Elias: I mean, you do have a girlfriend... The three start grinning...
Tom: No guys, that's not funny!!! We don't even know if this crap works?
Jan: It's alright... Let's hope this works... Jessica!!! Farewell, I love you!!!!! Jan throws Jessica into the pot... He places the pot on a Bunsen burner and stirs... Nothing happens.
Tom: I knew nothing would happen, this cult crap is fake! Suddenly, a tear in the space-time continuum appears, from which a 5-meter-tall demon emerges... It gets windy, and the tear sucks in the air...
Tom: What have you done!!!
Jan: I don't know! Elias takes the book again and reads the title...
Elias: Resurrection of a Demon...
Tom: Tom, you idiot!!!!!! Go back to elementary school and learn to read before deciding to be a cult leader!!!
Jan: I read 'resurrection' and thought it was the right one, I'm sorry!!!!
Tom: That's so typical of you! Imagine we had sacrificed Maria for this crap!
Jan: But we didn't, so it's all good!!! The demon opens its mouth and sucks in all the cult members!
Jan: August no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Augustus: My leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thus, all cult members were killed... The demon approached the four.
Demon: I will let you live! This is my thanks for bringing me back to life! The demon leapt into the air and flew away...
Elias put an arm around Jan's shoulder.
Elias: Look on the bright side! It seems God doesn't want you to be a cult leader. And see, Tom, we crossed a line! Tom nodded...
YOU ARE READING
Freundschaft/Friendship
HorrorA group of four friends are having fun during New Year, until someone comes up with a buisness idea that completely changes their fortunes ! The story is full of funny moments and has some grotesque parodies from the fnaf universe. I hope you have g...
